My Brother, My Lover
by L. KERR
Summary: After Haley's death, Nathan and Lucas can finally be together. The truth about their parents has given them the chance to really be together but will someone from their past try and stop them. MPREG & possible character death. Lathan & Brase babies!
1. My Brother, My Lover

Alright this is my fourth fanfic...my first for One Tree Hill. I lvoe Lucas and Nathan and relish in thinking that they would be together. So if you missed that this is a LucasXNathan Slash fic. Please review and give me some ideas of what you guys want.

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Antoine de Saint-Exupery once wrote, "To love is not to look at one another, But to look together in the same direction." I think he is right in that aspect. No matter who I was with, whether Brooke or Peyton, it was never love. It was lust and a great time but I needed something that could be my forever. Someone next to me for the rest of my life.

The other reason why Brooke and Peyton never worked for me was that they were women. Haley says that I should be an actor seeing as how I have everyone fooled. I wonder what people would say when they found out that Lucas Scott was all queer. Haley knows my secret. She, being my sneaky best friend and sister-in-law, snooped through my journal and read everything. She read my darkest secrets and my innermost thoughts. It was there that I expressed my fondness for various men. I described how much I loved Jake's smile or how good Tim looked in a uniform. True he was a pest, but the Raven's uniform did him justice. Not as much as Nathan though. Even how Chris Keller had a sexy voice. Yeah, Haley still won't let me live that down. It's been over a year.

So anyway, Haley found out and went all googly eyed over it. She wants me to tell someone how I feel. I'm not ready to take that leap. Coming out could easily ruin whatever life I have now. Dan would publicly humiliate me and my mom. My mom would lose all hope of having grandchildren. Nathan would never speak to me again. Brooke and Peyton would be harassed about it. It's not just me involved in this. Everything is at stake. So I decided to keep it to myself, I just had to let Haley know when we went out tonight. It was our weekly date. Nathan stayed home and watched James while Haley and I enjoyed each others company. I was already dressed for the occasion and just waited for Haley to stop by my apartment.

DING DONG

I guess she's here. I ran from my room and pulled the front door open. To my surprise it wasn't Haley standing there. Instead I found a teary eyed Nathan. He looked like he could barely stand on his own two feet.

"Nate, what's wrong?"

"Luke, it's Haley." He said as he lurched forward in tears.

"Nathan what are you talking about?"

"I took James to the Rivercourt." He sniffed.

"What about Haley?"

"She's dead Luke. Someone hit her. She went looking for me. It's my fault. I can't do this without her."

"Hey, come on. Let's get you home. Where is James?"

"In the car, he fell asleep crying."

"She died holding him. How am I going to raise him Luke?"

"Come on in. I want you to sit on the couch while I go get James." I tried comforting him, even though I was breaking down on the inside.

"Luke, she said she loves you and to tell you that you should tell 23 what the real raven 3 looks like. I don't know what she meant. Do you?"

"Yeah, I'll explain later. Be right back." I said as I ran out the door to the car. I unlocked the back door and pulled a fussy 3 year old from his car seat.

"Unkie Luke. Mommy in heaben. She no love me no moor." James said as I carried him up the stairs to my apartment.

"Hey, your mommy loves you very much. She will always love you buddy."

"Mommy wisper in my eer. She say you love daddy. Mommy no love daddy."

"How about we go see daddy?" I whispered as we neared the door.

"He loves you. Daddy wrote in his dournal. Mommy saids it was coot."

"She did?" I asked as we opened the door. James caught sight of his grief stricken dad.

"Yea. Daddy no cwy. Mommy is happy in heaben. Unkie Luke will make you happy –gain."

"Come here buddy." Nathan said as he outstretched his arms. James willingly went towards his fathers arms and rested against his chest.

"Daddy. I love you."

"I love you to baby James."

I sat on the opposing couch and watched as my nephew fell asleep. It came peacefully for him. As smart as he was, he really hadn't grasped the fact that his mom was never coming home.

"Luke, can I put him down somewhere?"

"Yeah, put him on my bed."

"Are you sure? Where are you going to sleep?"

"Nathan, I'll be fine. I haven't broken in the couch yet." I lightly joked.

I glanced up as Nathan carried James into the bedroom. After a few minutes, Nathan returned still as shaken as before.

"Is he asleep?"

"Yeah. I need to talk to you about some things, if you don't mind."

"Shoot."

"When I saw Haley in the hospital she asked me not to call you. She said she needed to talk to me alone first. Then she told me about the 23 ravens or whatever it was."

"Tell 23 what the real raven 3 looks like." I replied.

"Yeah, what does that mean? She told me that is was of the utmost importance."

"It means that I need to tell you about the real me, Nate. Haley had a way of finding out secrets."

"Yeah, Haley sure did have a knack for squeezing them out of people."

"So, James told me something tonight. He said that you keep a journal."

"Luke, it was one of those things that Haley kept a secret. I didn't know James knew."

"Hey, calm down. We are adults. One thing at a time. I will start."

"I am gay. Haley read my journal and learned some new things about me."

"Okay. This is weird. My Brother, my Lover. Haley was right." Nathan said to himself, although a little too loudly.

"My Brother, My Lover. You know that story. God, Haley told you about that." I said a little surprised and upset. Haley promised to keep that a secret.

"I told Haley about it, Luke. Nick Scottson was a friend of mine. He told me about it once"

"So there I sat watching my brother undress before me…" I started, hoping Nathan would finish. My eyes stared broodingly at him.

"His creamy skin was calling me to him. This feeling building up inside me was too much to bear. My fingers tore at him with a lust I had seen only on late night movies."

"So Nick, huh? At least it was a good pen name."

"But how did you know?"

"You son gave you away. I know better than to think you write in a journal. I figured it was that red composition book you toted around everywhere. And your son said that you loved me but that you didn't love his mommy."

"Luke, I don't know what to say."

"Say it's true. Say you love me. Haley and you have been separated for three years. So be true to yourself."

"But we're brothers, Luke."

"Are we? You obviously don't remember when your mom died."

"What are you talking about? Of course I remember."

"Then why did you punch you dad after her funeral?"

"He said that she was a whore. Why are you bringing this up?"

"Dan isn't your dad. Deb wasn't a whore either. She was pregnant when she met your dad. She just didn't know it. Not her fault."

"That's right. Dan wasn't my dad. I remember we went and celebrated that night. It was the night Dan found out that he had no children. Keith was your real dad and we didn't care who mine was."

"So technically we are just friends."

"If that's what you want."

"For now, I want someone to help raise my son. If hot and sweaty sex happens too. Well then when do we start." He said with a grin.

Journal Entry, Chapter 1 Page 7 of 7


	2. Trouble Drinking OJ

**So Do You Have Trouble Drinking Orange Juice?...

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Two Days Later**

"Lucas Scott, you open this door right this minute!" Brooke screamed from outside.

I briefly opened my eyes and stared at the alarm clock sitting on the night stand. The neon green lights read 5:46 am. '_What the hell could she possibly want this early in the morning?_' I pulled on some clothes and trudged to the door. I unlocked the deadbolt and saw a very angry Brooke Davis staring back at me. She leaned back and put most her weight on her back foot as she impatiently tapped her front one. Her hands were crossed in front of her and her sultry brown eyes were fixed on me.

"Brooke Davis, to what do I owe this pleasure?"

"Don't play cute with me. Why aren't you answering my calls? Why didn't you tell me? Don't you dare smile, this is not funny." She yelled.

"Brooke, why don't you come in? We can work everything out."

"Fine, but don't try to worm your way out of this by being cute, 'cause it won't work. I know you too well." She said as she sat on the couch. I closed the door and sat on the adjoining chair.

"So what's up Cheery?"

"Why aren't you answering my calls?"

"Sorry, I've been a little busy. I've been taking care of Nathan and James."

"Okay. Why didn't you tell me about Haley?"

"I found out two days ago. I found out after she was dead. I never got to see her in the hospital. I never got to say goodbye to my best friend. So for that we are in the same boat."

"Okay so as far as excuses go, your's are rock solid. Sorry for being such a b-"

"It's okay Brooke. We've all got some things we needed to get off our chest." I said raising my eyebrows, hinting that there was more.

"Lucas Eugene Scott, spill."

"What?" I asked coyly.

"I know that look. Tell me before I get physical." She said raising a clenched fist.

"Okay, okay. Umm…well…."

"Ohmigod. I already know you're gay. Jeez, you'd think you have a bigger set of hypothetical balls to go with the giant one in your pants."

"Well, well. I thought I heard Brooke Davis."

"Well, well a scantily clad Nathan Scott."

"Morning." I said as Brooke turned her gaze to Nathan.

"So is this the…uh…thing you needed to tell me?" She said as she turned her gaze to me.

"I guess we could add this to that." I replied.

"So, do you have trouble drinking orange juice in the morning?"

"Brooke," I quickly turned my gaze to Brooke, knowing full well where she was going with this.

"What?" She said replicating my coy smile from earlier.

"Yeah, I do…why?"

"Well, I had trouble swallowing Lucas too. You should try the chloroseptic spray. It numbs your throat, works wonders."

"Wow…okay Brooke. Time to go."

"No Luke, its fine. She already knows everything. And you know how her mind works."

"Yeah, Luke. You know how my…Hey. Jerk!" She retorted.

"Nathan, sweetheart. Brooke Davis, could tell you stories that would make you throw up. Sex is her area. Well it was."

"Lucas Scott, tread lightly."

"Whoa, I want to know." Nathan begged.

"It seems that my lovely friend Brooke Davis has some skeletons in her closet. Or should I say clean teens."

"Clean teens, Brooke. I thought that was in high school."

"No no no. My dear Nathan. She is the reason men aren't in Clean Teens anymore."

"Lucas Scott likes to use sex toys." She blurted out.

"Well who would've thought….Oh wait…I already knew." Nathan piped up.

"Okay, gross. I gotta go its early. But don't think for one minute that all of your skeletons are revealed Broody. One might come and bite you in the butt, literally." She said as she left our apartment.

"So she is something else." Nathan said as he slid onto the couch. His arms motioned for me to come to him. I lay on my side and placed my head in his lap. My eyes gazed up at him and saw the worry in his eyes. His normally clear blue eyes were dark and cold.

"Babe, what's wrong?"

"Should I be happy, Luke?" He said as he looked down at me.

"You mean because of Haley." I said as I sat up.

"Yeah. We separated because I was gay. Then she went and got herself killed because she came looking for me. How am I going to tell James that his mom is dead? How am I going to explain to James that daddy is dating Uncle Luke?"

"Hey, I am here every step of the way. When you're ready I will be ready."

"Luke, I am ready. I want you, all of you. Haley was my other half; it's just hard to let her go."

"Hey, I understand. She was my best friend. Now come on, let's go back to bed. We can snuggle some more." I breathed as I rubbed against his chest.

"Luke." He breathed in response to my sensual rubbing.

"Say it."

"I…"

"Say it."

"I want you." He moaned, his breathe coming in short spurt.

"How bad?" I teased as my fingers rubbed across the jean material making its way to his crotch.

"Luke, please." He moaned louder as I rubbed harder. My touches were deliberate and sensual and I could feel the effects being caused.

"Alright….I'm going back to bed." I said as I removed my hand and made my way to the bedroom.

"Lucas don't you dare." Nathan called as he chased after me.

I tried running in the room before he could catch me but he was too quick. As I was closing the door, Nathan came and pushed it open. He ran and tackled me onto the bed.

"That wasn't very nice Luke. Getting me all worked up and leaving." Nathan said as he lay on top of me.

I tried to push him off but he was too strong for me. He grabbed my hands and pulled over my head and held them there. I arched my back and rubbed myself against him. Moaning as if in ecstasy made Nathan even more ready.

"Does that feel good?" Nathan asked.

I moaned a response and he began rubbing my hardening member through my jeans with his free hand.

I stared into his blue eyes as I began to beg for him. "Nathan, give it to me. I want you so bad."

"Well you're gonna get it." He said as he unzipped his jeans and tore his shirt off. He hopped off of me and ripped his jeans off. I was already out of my jeans by this time and was working on my shirt. Nathan grabbed the shirt and ripped it off my body. It wasn't my favorite so I didn't care.

I grabbed a condom from my drawer and a bottle of lube and began prepping Nathan. I rolled onto the bed and got on all fours anticipating my first time. I assumed this was his first time as well, but I wasn't certain how he felt about it. I know that I was too wrapped up in the moment to care.

"Are you ready?" He asked kindly.

"Yeah baby, just go slow. Please."

"Absolutely" He replied as he leaned up against my back and pecked me on the cheek.

I felt the tip press against me. The size started becoming an issue as I felt him press harder. After some struggle, my body finally allowed him entrance and the pressure was overwhelming. I screamed in pain, it was all I could do.

"Luke, are you okay?" He said as he began pulling out. I motioned for him to stop and he did. The release of pressure was too much for me.

"More Nathan."

"What?" He exclaimed looking worried.

"Give me more. I want more." I ordered.

"But you're in pain."

"I said give me more. Fuck me god dammit."

He pushed more into me and this time I merely moaned. I could feel him slide in and out of me and the friction was driving me crazy.

"Na-"

"Daddy, stop hurting Unkie Luke." James cried from the doorway. I grabbed the covers and began covering myself and Nathan. Nathan decided to try and comfort his son but he fled before Nathan could get close.

Nathan stopped at the doorway. At first, I couldn't read his facial expression but I soon found it to show a deep rooted pain. He had scared his son and it tore him up inside. When he finally sat down on the bed I sat behind him and massaged his shoulders.

"He thinks I hurt you. I scared him. How could I do that?"

"Nathan, you didn't know he was there. We just have to explain that you weren't hurting me. He's probably upset. Remember the funeral is tomorrow. He will get better. Trust me."

"Do you always know what to say?"

"I try. Come on. You get in bed and I will make sure little one gets back into bed. I will be back in a few."

"I love you, Luke."

"I…Love…you…too….Nate." I said between chaste kisses.

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As always read and review.

P.S. for that lovely person who decided to give me my first FLAME...Thank you ever so much. I have been waiting for one. Who knew it would be my 37th chapter that would get my my first. Well anyway I thoroughly enjoyed reading you flame. And I have to say that in my twisted little mind, Lucas and Nathan are together a lot.

L.Kerr


	3. Haley's Goodnight Mix

I walked down the darkened hallway in search of my nephew. My eyes began adjusting to the darkness and I soon heard muffled cries coming from the living room. As I stumbled into the living room, I found James curled up on the couch wrapped in his Haley's sweater. The tears streaming down his face caused my heart to break. I knew he missed his mom. James probably missed her more than I did.

"Hey buddy." I said as I began to see him more clearly.

I received no response. Maybe he was mad at me too. I walked closer to the couch and could now see him perfectly. He had Nathan's CD player with him. It wasn't on but he had the headphones over his head. His eyes were closed and he pretended like he heard music. I sat down next to him and his eyes immediately opened.

"Unkie Luke is pass tyour bedtime."

"Isn't it past your bedtime too?"

"Yeah."

"Then why aren't you in bed?"

"I wann lisen to mommy."

"Why don't you give me the CD player and I can put it on for you?"

"Otay." He said as he handed me the CD player. I opened it and made sure that a CD was already inside. Inside was a burned disk that read **HALEY'S GOOD NIGHT TO YOU**. I closed the lid and turned it on. I handed the headphones to James. He eagerly took one and he handed me the other. I shook my head and he climbed onto my lap and put the ear piece in my ear. He lay on my chest as we began listening to Haley talk.

"Hey Baby James. It's mommy. Did you have a bad dream baby?...Yeah. I'm so sorry baby. Let mommy sing to you….Wait let me guess. Uncle Luke is with you. Yeah I figured he would be. You know, Uncle Luke is my favorite person in the whole world. If you ever have a problem, Uncle Luke can help you. I promise. Now close your eyes and listen to mommy and remember this is a secret."

Her words were so kind and so earnest. I could feel the tears well up in my eyes when she spoke. I missed her so much and hearing her say that I was her favorite person, it just made me sadder. I would be there for James, just like she promised. I would never let either of them down. When she began to sing, I knew why she wanted it to be a secret. It was her song 'When the Stars Go Blue' with Chris Keller. Nathan hated this song. It reminded him of the bad times in their relationship. I wonder what Nathan would think if he knew that I almost slept with Chris Keller.

I looked down during the song and discovered that James had fallen asleep during the song. I picked him and walked to the spare bedroom. I guess it's his room now. I look around and see his belongings everywhere. Yeah, this is his room. I lay him down on his bed and slowly back away. I never took my eyes off of him. I closed the door and left it open just a crack. Then I returned to my room…well our room. At least I hope it could be our room – mine and Nathan's.

I walked back into the bedroom and saw that the light was still on. I hesitantly pushed the door open and saw Nathan's eyes fixed up the door, like he was waiting for me to come back.

"Hey you." I said with a hint of sexiness in my voice.

"Hey back. How is he?"

"He's asleep. He just missed his mom."

"Thanks for taking care of him Luke. I don't know if I could have handled it."

I turned and looked at him and saw the pain in his eyes. I sat on the bed next to him and began tracing my name on his abs.

"We can do this Nate. We can make this work."

"I know. I just want James to be happy. He deserves it."

"So do you. I will do whatever it takes to make you both happy."

"Why? Why are you so willing to put me first?"

"Because, I love you Nate." I confessed while staring into his eyes.

"I love you too Luke. Being with you makes me so happy. I love your smile, and your laugh. I love watching you sleep, and I love holding you in my arms. I love everything about you."

Hearing that I could say anything. I stared up at him and I could feel my heart skip a beat. '_Have I found the person I am supposed to be with?_'

"Lucas, say something."

"Umm…I love you too Nate…with all of my heart."

He leaned in and our lips touched. Softer than ever before and just as gentle as I could expect. Our lips molded perfectly together and I took this as a sign that we were meant to be together.

Nathan slowly pulled away and stared deep into my eyes. Our breathing was labored and coming in spurts.

"Would you do something for me Nate?" I breathed.

"Anything baby." He responded.

"Make love to me. Softly…and passion…atley." I said between chaste kisses.

"If that's what you want."

"Of course. I want you to be my first. My one and only."

"Okay. Just promise me that you'll tell me if I hurt you."

"Promise." I said as I molded my body into his. I heard him pull a condom from the drawer which was finally followed by the tearing of the aluminum packaging.

"Are you ready baby?"

"Of course, Nathan. Just go slow." I said while lying on my back.

"Absolutely." I said as I felt him begin entering me.

I inhaled sharply and put my hand on his chest. I could feel him begin pulling out and I shook my head at him.

"No. Just go slow."

"Okay." He replied as he pushed me further inside me. I soon began relaxing and could feel all of him inside me. The pressure was painful but well worth it.

"Thank you." I told him as I stared up at his gorgeous blue eyes.

"Anything for you."

He began pulling out and the pressure began subsiding. The only problem with that was now I wanted him inside me again. I bit my bottom lip and glared at him, letting him know that I wanted him.

He leaned closer and positions his lips close to mine. I lifted my head and met his lips for a quick kiss. Again he leaned closer and this time he began whispering in my ear.

"Tell me you want me, Luke. I need to hear it baby."

"I want you Nathan. All of you inside me. Please."

"You want it."

"Yes."

"Good." He said as he thrust every inch of him inside me. My moans were filled with lust as I bucked against him. My breathing became labored and my eyes felt like they were glued shut but I didn't care. I matched my thrusts with his as he led me to a climax like no other.

"Nathan….oh god Nathan….here I come….oh …ohhhhhhh." I shouted.

His grunts told me that he was close as well. As I came I could feel him tighten inside me which was soon followed by a warm feeling. We did it. Finally we had done what I had only dreamed of for years. It was more than I had ever dreamed of and at that point I knew that we could be together.


	4. Disgruntled

**So to the fans who are reading this...thank you. I am deeply sorry for the wait. I work 40 hrs a week at a bank and go to school full time with 15 college credits. so I am busy, busy busy, and I only find time to write at work and on my rare weekends when I have no homework.

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Chapter 4: Disgruntled**

**12 hours later**

As I watched the funeral proceedings, I gazed into people's eyes. Some were filled with despair and loss while others were just blank. Like being here was just a technicality. '_Oh yeah, I think I may have heard of Haley at one point or another. Maybe I should go_.' It was a load of crap. No one knew her like I did. I saw and watched as her mom and dad were falling apart at the seams. Her sisters, Vivian and Quinn were leaning on their significant others for support. Taylor was showing her strong side, but inside I knew that she too had fallen apart. I could see it in her eyes. Ryan and Mark, her older brothers, were strong faced with silent tears falling from their eyes. James was situated between Brooke and Peyton. Brooke was a mess to the point where she let her mascara run and her makeup smear. Peyton was silent and just stared at her coffin. Nathan had been a wreak today. As we watched the funeral proceedings he lay in my arms and cried. On one side was a clearly shaken Nathan and on the other was my mom. Haley had been like a daughter to my mom. Thankfully, Keith was there to consol my mom giving me the opportunity to take care of Nathan.

The funeral was over. I wandered out into the cemetery after I thought everyone had gone home. The sky was gray and the wind was howling and all I could do was stand there. I finally began to realize that I would never see my best friend again. It was at that point that I realized that my soul mate was gone. She was the person who knew everything about me. She knew when I was upset even if I had a genuine smile on my face. She would know if I was crying even when she was across town. Realizing this just made me feel worse. There I was fully enjoying myself these past few days and I barely thought about her. And another thing, maybe Nathan was only being with me because of the tragedy. My mind spent the countless moments contemplating these thoughts that I never heard anyone come up behind me.

"Hey Broody." Brooke called from a few yards away. "Luke?"

"Hey Brooke." I replied barely taking notice of her.

"How you holding up?"

"A good as I possibly can"

"I've known you for a while now. I know when you're trying to be strong Luke. You don't have to be strong for me. It's okay to fall apart and miss your best friend." She said sitting down next to me.

And I did. I allowed my head to fall against her shoulder as the tears streamed from my eyes. "I miss her so much Brooke. I never got to say goodbye. I can't help but blame Nathan. He didn't tell me she was in the hospital. How do I know he isn't trying to replace Haley with me? Maybe he doesn't really love me."

"First of, Luke you have to forgive him. He only did what he was asked to do. Secondly, I know he loves you. I've seen the glimmer in his eyes every time he looks at you."

"I know. It's just hard. I love him Brooke. I really love him."

"Okay, time to cheer up. The mood is so going to kill me if it doesn't stop. Let's change the subject to something…um…better. So, is he as big as I've heard he is."

I chucked a little. Brooke always knew how to cheer me up. She was Cheery after all.

"Yeah. I'm still a little sore." I smiled.

"See, there's the smile. Come one we have to go pick up James."

"God, can't a guy mope a little."

"No, and besides your mother told me to tell you that you have to come to the cafe.

"Why?"

"Alas even my skills couldn't make your mother tell me the secret."

"My mom always was tight lipped."

"Unless it came to us having sex. Then she had no problem setting us straight on that."

"Yeah. Mom was pretty blunt about that. So was there any hint as to why she wanted me to come."

"No, but all of us have to be there."

"All of who."

"Me, you, Peyton and Nathan."

"Oh, this can't be good. The last time she wanted us all together was to tell us about Dan and to say she was pregnant."

"Well maybe she has another surprise. And if everything works out okay, maybe Peyton and I can get some alone time for you and Nate."

"I'm still sore Brooke. Anymore and I won't be able to sit down for a month."

"I meant to talk. Jeez, is it always sex with you?" She joked.

"Yeah." I countered.

"Come on let's go. I want you to see the surprise is." Brooke begged.

"Fine" I said as we walked to her baby blue Beetle.

We quickly jumped in the car and speed towards the cafe. The drive was fast but for me it wasn't fast enough. My mind wandered around, mainly thinking about Haley and Nathan. Then I would try to guess what my mom's surprise was. I figured that if I kept my mind busy I wouldn't feel the pain. I stared out the window glancing around at people I've never met. I would often look at Brooke and wonder how she could bounce back into her old self so quickly.

"Luke, you okay?"

"I'm trying Brooke, I'm trying." I felt her fingers become intertwined with mine and could feel the uneasiness wash away.

"It's gonna be okay. I want you to be happy Luke and I will do whatever it takes to make you happy."

"Thanks, Brooke. It really means a lot to me."

"Good because you are probably going to kill me after we go inside."

I looked straight at her and caught a glimpse of mischief in her eyes.

"Brooke Davis what are you up to."

"I have no idea what you're talking about." She smiled.

"What did my mom tell you?"

"Like I said your mom was tight lipped about everything."

"But…"

"But Uncle Keith wasn't."

"Brooke." I said my tone heightening.

"I am not saying but I will give you a heads up and say that Nathan and I were completely against this."  
"Brooklyn Penelope Davis you tell me this minute. I am not in any sort of mood for jokes."

"First of, ouch with the whole name and second of you should know that your mom planned this. It can't be that bad."

"Then why are you and Nathan so against this?"

"I don't know, call it a gut feeling."

"Whatever, let's just go so I can show my mom that I came."

"Here, I'll make a deal with you first. Here are the keys. If you feel like bolting than you just go." She said grabbing my arm and turning me towards her.

"Okay. Thanks Brooke."

"Anything for my Broody." She replied as we walked toward the café.

I could see Nathan huddled in a corner crying. Peyton sat at a table drawing fiercely. Her hand was moving erratically and I knew that she was pouring her emotion into her sketch. Even in the distance I could see her bloodshot eyes and tearstained face. As if he sensed my presence, Nathan lifted his head and stared directly at me.


	5. Gone

**To all my loyal fans, I apologize for taking so long to update. I work full time at a bank and attending college full time (even in summer) so I am deeply sorry. I am going to try and write a little every Monday and Wednesday in hopes of keeping the updates coming sooner. So thanks to everyone who reads and please review with comments or to tell me you hate me or even to add input of what you want to see or not see. L.Kerr

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**Chapter 5: ****Gone**

His eyes bore deep into my soul and I felt my heart twist into a knot. I watched as relief watched over his face when he realized I was there. Nathan needed me to be his rock and I wasn't sure if I could be that for him.

"You can do it ya know." Peyton called from the steps. I turned quickly and realized that I hadn't even seen her come out.

"Huh, what?"

"You can be there for him. I know you can. You love hard Luke. You love with your entire body and heart, Luke. You just need to learn to follow it."

"I follow my heart."

"Just like you followed it to me and Brooke when clearly you were looking for Tim or Jake or even Nathan."

"Fine, caught red handed." I exclaimed, jokingly putting my hands up.

"Duh."

"Yeah Broody, we know you too well." I turned my body towards Brooke with my back towards the café.

"Too well is right. I'm not talking to you guys anything ever again."

"Yeah right. You're practically one of the girls now." Peyton countered walking to face me.

"Not if I have anything to do with it." Nathan said from behind me. He wrapped his arms around my waist and leaned onto my shoulder from behind. "I like my Lucas just the way he is."

"Did you hear that P.Sawyer? He said "my" Lucas."

"I heard it B.Davis."

"Alright enough." Nathan said getting a little ticked off at the girls.

"No its not. Say it again." I begged.

"You, Lucas, are mine for now and forever."

"Good." I said as I turned around and planted a kiss right on his lips.

"Awww." Both girls cooed.

"Enough now I think my mom was expecting me."

I turned and allowed Nathan's fingers to become intertwined with my own as we walked into the café.

The glass door quietly shut behind me and I saw my mom's tear stained eyes look up. She saw our hands and smiled if only for a second. My mom and I have this bond where we don't ever have to say a word and we know exactly what the other is thinking. I knew then that the idea of Nathan and I would not be a problem for her. She quickly got up from behind the counter and ran into my arms. I held her tight and told her that it was going to be okay. It felt like an eternity before I let go of her but in reality it wasn't that long. We slowly slipped apart and she guided us to the rooftop. The memories came flooding back and I could feel the tears well up in my eyes. I could see chairs everywhere and the old TV was set up. I stood hesitantly but willingly headed toward a seat after Brooke and Peyton started nudging me.

"Come on baby. Sit with me." Nathan whispered in my ear. I couldn't tell if it was his soft breathe on my neck or just hearing what he said that caused my knees to go weak and my breath to become shallow. I leaned against him and felt his strong hands holding me tighter than I've ever been held before. He quickly guided me to a chair and allowed me to lean on him. I closed my eyes and just took in the calming effect that comes over me whenever I am close to him. I could feel Nathan nudge me and I opened my eyes and looked up at him. His eyes were fixed on the screen and I could sense an uneasiness about him. I turned to glance at the screen and jumped up immediately. There plastered on the screen was Haley's face. She looked weak and was wearing a hospital gown and I knew it was from right before she died. I glanced again at Nathan and saw a look of surprise on his face. Brooke looked unsettled about the situation and Peyton was dumbstruck. Brooke was the only person to know what was going to happen. I knew that she hinted it was going to be bad to Nathan but he didn't know how bad it really was. Peyton and I were in the same situation, neither of us knew what was going to happen and neither of us was happy about it. I turned my attention back to the television screen. The sound clicked on and I heard her voice.

"Okay, so I am not going to cry. In fact, I want this to be as quick as possible. First of, I want to say that I love each and every one of you guys. Each of you will always hold a special part in my heart. Tigger, gosh, you are the craziest most talented fashion designer cheerleader captain ever. You made my life interesting and upbeat and I thank you for it…"

I turned my attention to Brooke and caught a tear fall from her eyes. Peyton held her close and tensed because she thought Haley would acknowledge her next. I turned my attention back to the TV to see Haley start to cry a little.

"Peyton, you soulful artist you. Your hands create magic like I could only imagine. That picture you gave me of me holding Baby James will forever be embedded in my mind. I hope that you find peace and love in your work Peyton, never let anything or better anyone ever stop you…"

Peyton was nodding at Haley and I could see her hand was shaking. It was like reliving the pain all over again. Nothing could be worse than finally letting go. And that's what we were doing, we were saying our final goodbye.

"Nathan…my sweet Nathan. I took you from an obnoxious jerk to a warm hearted and loving father and how do you repay me by going gay and having the hotts for my best friend. Okay just kidding, you gave me the best thing in the world and I want you to promise me that you will protect James no matter what. And follow your heart Nathan tell him how you feel. Oops, I guess I kind of just did, huh?"

Nathan smiled and I knew that for them, the best way to say goodbye was to say anything but. His hand rubbed my shoulder and told me it would be okay. I could feel a tear slide down my face as I realized that I was next.

"Lucas, Luke, my best friend in the entire universe. I want you to open our school year wish list early and read it with Nathan. I want you to open up to him. Tell him how you feel, maybe even let him read your wonderfully written journal entries. He may just get as hot as I did and he will definitely need some attention. If you know what I mean. Oh but be careful, he packs a whopper."

I saw Haley smile and felt more at ease letting her go. I cried as I said goodbye to her. I vowed to do everything she asked me to and maybe I will do a little more. I want to be there for my godson. I want to see every memory that his mom can't. So silently in my head, I promised her that. I turned my attention back to the TV and saw that it was turned off. For some reason, I needed to know why Nathan made this and didn't tell me about it.

"Hey Nate."

"Yeah."

"Why didn't you tell me about the tape before tonight?" I asked.

"I didn't know about the tape until tonight."

"Well then, who knew?" I asked looking around the room. Brooke and Peyton both shook their heads. I turned my attention to my mom and asked her.

"Mom, did you make this tape?"

"Yes. She asked me to."

"How could she ask you when aside from Nathan no one knew she was in the hospital?"

"I knew. She called me the first night."

"So you're telling me that you knew from the very beginning and you said nothing to me. You didn't tell me anything. Why wouldn't you tell me that the person who meant the most to me in the entire world was dying in the hospital?" I screamed. I could feel Nathan's hand on my shoulder attempting to get me to calm down. It wasn't working.

"Luke"

"No, she could have told me. She lied to me. For a whole week my mother lied to me. You know what, I can't be here anymore. I just can't." I said as I ran down the stairs and hopped in Brooke's car. I hit the gas and slammed the pedal down to the floor. I heard the tires screech as I drove off in the distance.


	6. Runaway

Thanks to all of my fans who have been patient with me. Trust me its not easy working 40 hours a week pulling a full summer schedule in college and still doing all of the chores at home. So I literally just finished writing this chap. A little short in my opinion and the ending is a little off but it will get better. Much love to all of my fans and if there is anything you want please tell me in a review or a personal message. I will try to get back with everyone. As for those of you who haven't read my other fics please do. Some are going to have sequels and others I feel were ended nicely. Anyone up for continuing my stories please ask me first and throw some of your ideas at me. Til next time….. L.Kerr

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**Chapter 6: Runaway**

I flipped the radio on and began blasting music. Tears streamed down my face as I swerved around corner after corner. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I struggled with the fabric to free the phone. My hands were shaking and that made it ten times as hard. I continued to speed down the streets as I pulled my phone out. I quickly glanced and saw the word "Mom" illuminate the screen. _I can't believe after all that, that she has the nerve to call me._ My tears fell faster and I could feel the anger surge through my body and cause my heart to beat faster. I slammed the phone into the seat next to me as I swerved around another corner and almost jumped the curb. I was slowly losing control because everywhere I turned all I thought about was Haley. I passed the school, Tric, the record shop and even the bridge. Everywhere I looked I saw her and it was beginning to take its toll on me. After almost rear ending a parked car, I decided it was time to walk. So I grabbed some things from the car, shoved them in my pockets and locked Brooke's car up.

My mind became glazed as I began walking aimlessly through the neighborhood. My mind had become so numb that I couldn't even cry anymore. I couldn't decide if I was angry or hurt or sad. I was becoming devoid of all emotion and thoughts. As I passed by shop after shop, I noticed that everything was empty. There were no people around and I suddenly felt lost. My eyes shifted over buildings looking for any remnant of a memory, something to tell me where I was. My eyes gazed up at a light pole and I realized I had made my way to the Rivercourt. This was the place where I often went when I needed to clear my head. I walked on the familiar black top and I suddenly felt exhausted. I collapsed on the hard court and I once again began to let my mind wander over various subjects as I lay on the hard ground. I wondered why my mom didn't tell me that Haley was in the hospital. I wondered when Nathan began having feelings for me. I thought about James growing up without his mom. I felt like a lost child hoping that his mom would find him. Instead I wanted Nathan to come and rescue me.

I felt my phone once again vibrate in my pocket, interrupting my thoughts. I pulled the phone out and glanced at the screen. It was Brooke. I figured if mom wanted to reach me she would have had Nathan call first. So if Brooke was calling then it was in fact Brooke calling. I flipped my phone open and took a deep breath.

"Hello." I said trying not to sound as if I'd been crying.

"Oh thank god Broody." She breathed into the phone. I heard a sudden rustle of noise and assumed my mom had taken control of the phone.

"Hey baby, are you alright?" Nathan asked. His voice surprised me. Firstly, I didn't expect to hear him and secondly, the concern in his voice overwhelmed me.

"I'm not sure Nate." I cried, once again letting my tears come.

"Listen Brooke and I are out looking for you. Tell me where you are Luke."

"I think I just need to be alone."

"Come on Luke. Where are you?"

"Nathan, I just need to be alone, alright?"

"Please baby. I just need to know your safe and in my arms." Nate pleaded.

"I'm safe and I'm fine. Just give me some space." I argued.

"Luke, baby, please. Brooke and I are going to search this city high and low until we find you. So why don't you just make it easy and tell us where you are?"

"Fine, I'm at the Rivercourt Nate. I parked Brooke's car about two blocks away."

"I'll be right there Luke. And remember I love you."

"I love you too Nate."

I waited patiently for Nathan and Brooke to arrive. I began pacing in anticipation but was forced to quit after feeling dizzy and nauseous. My breathing became shallow and I decided to sit down. As I sat on the bench, I heard doors slam and saw Brooke and Nathan coming towards me. My chest began to feel pressured and I closed my eyes to quell the pain. I heard Nate shout as I fell to the floor. My chest was on fire and my breathing became labored. I felt his arms around me as I took one last look at him.

"I love you Nathan Scott." I said.

"I love you too, Luke. But I need you to stay with me." I heard him command as I blacked out.

**3 days later**

I awoke to the sound of beeps. My head hurt and my body felt stiff. A bright light reflected off the glossy white walls at blinded me the minute my eyes opened. I diverted my gaze away from the light and tried to focus on the room. I couldn't lift my head so I attempted to move my hands. My fingers grazed someone's hand and I felt their fingers intertwine with mine. The lights dimmed and I began to make out a face. Brooke's face came into view and I saw her instantly light up. The happiness in her eyes soon faded and was overtaken by sadness.

"Hey Pretty Girl." I said my voice sounding raspy from not talking.

"Hey Luke, we were worried about you. I just told Nate to go get some coffee. Poor guy hasn't slept for three days. He missed you, yah know. Wouldn't leave your side until I started jabbing him in the side." Brooke laughed. "Let me go find him. I could use some coffee myself. Be right back."

I watched as she quietly exited my room and my eyes began to feel heavy. I closed my eyes waiting for Nathan to come back. I could hear people walking and talking past my room. I began concentrating on those sounds hoping to drown out the constant beeps being emitted from the countless machines. I heard the door creak open and could smell Nathan. He was wearing that new cologne from David Beckham. It was my favorite one. I kept my eyes closed and waited for him to come to the bed. I hear the chair shuffle and knew he had taken a seat. He moved the chair closer to my bed and took my hands in his.

"Hey baby. I'm back. I miss you so much. Luke, I really need you to wake up because I can't do this without you. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you and I can't if you don't wake up. So please baby move a finger or make a noise, something that will tell me you're here and your fighting baby." He sniffled.

I opened my eyes and found Nathan's head buried in the sheets. I could see his chest heaving and knew that he was silently crying. His hand still entwined with mine. I looked down at him as I began to grip his hand. His head immediately jerked up and looked straight into my eyes. I could see the mood in his eyes change from dark and stormy to crystal clear. A grin adorned his face as tears fell freely from his eyes. He rushed up and hugged me tighter than ever before.

"Oh baby, I love you so much. I was so worried."

"I know Nate, I heard everything you said. I love you too. So when can I go home?" I asked Nathan.

"Hopefully within a couple hours." The doctor said standing in the doorway. "Just need to do a final check up and go over some things with you first."

"Good. Let's get started then." I sad anxiously.

Between the blood tests and chest scans, it took forever. After 3 hours of testing and waiting the doctor told me I have a genetic disorder called HCM. It pretty much causes the muscles around my heart to thicken without warning. So now it's no more basketball and a pill everyday. Not curable but treatable. It definitely left me a little shell shocked seeing as how I could have died not knowing I had this disorder. Nathan was a little upset hearing this news and he vowed to protect me. His hand was intertwined with mine and refused to let go for fear he'd lose me. Once the doctor gave me the full lecture and a handful of pamphlets, he gave me a relatively clean bill of health and released me.

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	7. In Your Arms

Miss you guys...love you guys. So here is the update...way over due. Hopefully you love it. If you read my other stories than you know the scoop...if not than I got married. Yay me!!!! L. Kerr

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**Chapter 7: In Your Arms**

Nathan drove in silence. I could see his knuckles become white as he gripped the steering wheel tighter. I glanced out the window, not wanting to disturb either his or my thoughts. The realization of the past 24 hours was beginning to settle over. Had Nathan and Brooke not found me when they did, I could have died. Having survived, I was left with the daunting news about my HCM. I would have to take one pill everyday for the rest of my life. My life would have to slow down and basketball would be just a part of my past. '_How would Nathan feel now with this news?_ _Would he find me weak?' _The thoughts that paraded my mind caused my emotions to stir. A single tear escaped my eye and streamed down my face. I turned away from Nathan not wanting him to see me getting emotional.

"I love you, Luke." Nathan said, breaking the silence. I jerked my head at the sound of his voice.

"Nathan..?" I said with an air of uncertainty.

"Luke, I love you. When I saw you fall to the ground, my heart stopped. I held you so tight because I couldn't let you go. I feared that I was losing you. Brooke forced me to think about you and your health. We drove to the hospital, because all I could think about was you. The days I have spent with you have meant more to me than the world. Loving you has been the highlight of my life. I love you Lucas."

I stared into Nathan's eyes and saw tears forming. I could hear the concern radiating from his voice and hanging on every word. I found myself staring at him, unable to speak. Chills raced up and down my spine as I realized that Nathan loved me just as much as I loved him. His hand moved to mine and became intertwined without hesitation. At that moment, I realized that Nathan loved me as much as I loved him.

We drove in silence just enjoying our time together. My eyes gazed and street signs and realized that we were around the corner from Nathan's home. We pulled into the driveway and Nathan leapt from the car. He raced to my side of the car and opened the door for me. I laughed at how gentlemanly he was being.

"Here let me help you." He said in a demeaning way.

I can't believe he just said that. He did find me weak. I trudged past him and instead of heading into the house, I walked down the street. As I glanced back, I saw a look of confusion on his face. It angered me even more that he didn't see how much he hurt me. I left him there to think about his actions as I trudged along the road. I can't be with someone who found me weak or in anyway inferior. With each step I took, I could feel my heart break just a little more. I love Nathan with every fiber of my being.

The cool air nipped at my body and a sharp pain streaked across my chest. I had promised the doctor that I would take my meds before leaving the hospital. I didn't, I figured it could wait until I got home. The doctor also told me to try and live stress-free and her I was putting more stress on my heart. The pain began shooting through my body and stopped me in my tracks. I clutched my chest and fell to the ground. I turned toward Nathan and saw him run to me with the same speed and intensity as the pain in my chest. He held me to his chest as I began to cry. The pain was too much for me. The warmth of his body calmed me down enough to bring my heart rate back to normal. It was then that I noticed how much Nathan meant to me. He was my life, my protector, and my lover. He was the only person who was able to break down every wall I had built up. I snuggled into him and took in his scent. Euphoria took out over my mind and stopped my tears.

"It's okay, Luke. I'm here for you and I'm not going anywhere."

"I'm sorry, Nate. I've been such an idiot. You have given me everything. I want you to know that I love you, Nate."

His breathed hitched and I caught it instantly. He didn't think I would say it, but I knew that it was time. "Are you sure, Luke? I don't mean that…I mean…I love you too."

"I want you to know that I do…I really do love you Nate. Here in your arms I know that no matter how bad it gets your love is enough. Enough to heal my heart…maybe not completely but enough to make a difference."

"Cute." He chuckled, making light of the situation.

Nathan leaned in and gently pressed against my lips. They were soft and gentle the complete opposite of how I thought they would be. My lips melted against his and I clung tighter to his body feeling my body become weak from the lack of oxygen. I pulled away and we got up and made our way to the house. Nathan wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me so close; I thought that we would become one person. I leaned my head against his muscular chest and breathed in a sigh of content. Life may not have been easy for me, most definitely not without its fair share of bumps. But now I know that my life could be okay with Nathan. Would Nate want me to father James? That was the big question. Another question floating through my mind was "how would I be at fathering James?" Not easy questions to ask and definitely not easy questions for Nathan to answer. But hopefully he saw how much I wanted to be a part of his life.

"Lucas Scott, do you ever stop thinking?"

"What are you talking about?"

"You haven't heard the last three things I've said. And you've had that same look on your face since before we got inside."

I looked around and it hit me that we were inside already.

"Well, you asked. I need to sit down and talk for a minute."


	8. Worries and Secrets

**Chapter 8: ****Worries and Secrets**

"Talk about what?"

"Nate, I think we need to talk about us."

"Luke, what's wrong?" He asked sensing the concern in my voice and emulating it in his.

"I've got some things on my mind and the only way to deal with them is to talk with you and figure them out."

"Okay. I can do that."

"Good." I said, sitting down on the couch. I looked around the room and somehow found it unsuitable for this conversation. I got up and walked to the bedroom without so much as looking at Nathan. The thoughts were running through my mind and became unsettled because I didn't know how Nathan was going to respond to the questions and even worse how he was going to answer them. I fell onto the bed and wrapped the comforter around me. I stared at the wall, never realizing that Nathan stood in the doorway. He walked to me and kneeled on the floor next to where I sat.

"Luke, baby, I need to know what's wrong. You're scaring me now. You are allowing yourself to become controlled by these thoughts and now I feel like you're distancing yourself from me. After everything that has happened that is the last thing that I would want to happen."

I locked eyes with him as he spoke and felt chills wash over my body. "Do you love me, Nate?" I asked barely audible.

"Absolutely, Luke. I love you with all of my heart. Is that what has been bothering you?"

"Yes and no. I needed to know that you love me Nathan. I didn't want recent events to come between us because I don't think that I could handle it."

"You mean the HCM and stuff?"

"Yeah, I thought that you would stop loving me because I was weak."

"Lucas you are not now nor have you ever been weak. You are so strong. Strong enough to pull me out of a depression brought on by Haley dying and being left to raise my son alone. You are everything to me and James."

"Thank you Nate. That means everything to me to hear you say that."

"Better now?"

"Yeah" I smiled.

He grabbed my hands and forced me to look deep into his eyes. "You're lying to me, Luke. I know you far to well to be deceived by that smile of yours."

"Damn you Nathan Scott. I don't know how you did it but you figured me out. I have reservations concerning James." There I said it, but I didn't feel a weight lifted on my shoulders instead I felt more pressure.

"Lucas you are going to be by my side from now until forever. I will do whatever it takes to make you happy. James is my son and I know that you will do a great job with him. Hell, you already do. Why would you doubt that or yourself? Just because you are switching from uncle to dad doesn't change anything."

"You don't think it will be difficult for him? I don't want to cause emotional scars or anything."

"Emotional scars, Luke, you have been with him everyday since he was born. Will it be a change? Absolutely. However, with time it won't matter."

"God, I love you." I said wrapping my arms around him and nuzzling into the nape of his neck. His warmth penetrated my core and brought a single tear to my eyes.

"I love you, Luke." Nathan whispered in my ear. Hearing those four simple words caused me to melt in his arms and mold myself into his body.

Our attention was soon broken as someone banged heavily on the front door. I gave Nathan a quizzical look and saw him flash me one back. At least it wasn't another of those surprises. I hate surprises. I stood up from where I was sitting on the bed when Nathan put his hand on my chest and pushed me back down. He shot me a glance and I knew that he would get the door and I would wait. And I did. I waited and waited and waited. I must have sat there for ten minutes waiting for Nathan to come back. I leapt from the bed fuming and walked to the door. I could hear whispers through the door and pressed my ear against it to hear what was being said. Unfortunately, the whispers were undecipherable. In an attempt to hear better, I cracked the door but was found out when the door let out a loud creak. I heard shuffling from the hallway and threw the door open. There stood Nathan looking sneaky. I walked toward him glancing into rooms and around the hallway.

"What's going on, Nathan?" I asked walking toward him.

"Nothing, why would you think that something was going on?" He said coyly.

"Nathan Royal Scott, do not toy with me. You're hiding something or _someone_." I said walking toward him. "I will make you talk."

"How?" He asked in a true to Nathan cocky way.

I ran my hand over his thigh and suddenly grabbed his crotch roughly yet passionately. He moaned instantly

"Unless you tell me right now, I am removing all sexual pleasure from your life. No sex of any sort. I will lock up all of the porn, I will child block the computer and force you to refrain from touching yourself."

His cheeks instantly blushed at my words. I watched closely as his eyes roamed the hallway, hoping to catch a glimpse of where someone was hiding. I walked back toward our bedroom and passed by our bathroom closet. As I walked passed it I heard fits of laughter. I quickly turned around and saw the bathroom closet door ajar and Nathan laughing hysterically. I thrust the door the rest of the way open and saw Brooke and James peeking through making funny faces. I was mortified. Here I was making sexual advances towards Nathan while his son watched. I felt my cheeks burn and looked embarrassed.

"Luke…hi." Brooke said looking guilty.

"Well, well, well, Brooklyn Penelope Adams. Why are you hiding in our closet?" I inquired.

"Just came over to see my best friends because I am bursting at the seams with a secret."

"Oh a secret, huh?" I said as Nathan wrapped his arm around my waist with one arm and rustling James' hair with the other. "So what is it?"


	9. Good Surprise, Bad Surprise

**Chapter 9: ****Secrets Reveled and Tensions Flared**

"I'm pregnant. As in about to have a baby." Brooke said, smiling and jumping up and down like a little school girl.

"Won't you get fat?" Nathan asked jokingly.

I punched him in the arm and looked at Brooke who clearly hadn't thought about that yet.

"I'm gonna get fat. Luke, I can't handle fat. Fat clearly does not look good on me." Her eyes fell on Nathan's face where a smirk was permanently etched. "Don't laugh or I'll kick you in the balls. This is not funny. Chase did this on purpose. He knows I don't look good in fat. Gucci…maybe, Prada, yeah….Clothes over Bros…freakin hell yeah. But Brooke Davis does not do fat."

"Adams." I corrected.

"What?"

"Your last name…its Adams not Davis."

"Whatever. God, I'm going to kill him." She said storming out the front door clearly disturbed by the prospect of getting fat. \

Nathan let out the belly laugh he had been holding in and I scowled at him. What a way to make a girl feel bad about a good situation. But I did have to admit, Brooke ranting about getting fat was pretty comical. I looked around for J.Luke hoping that he hadn't been scarred for life by what he had seen. My eyes traveled over each area in the hallway and didn't see him. I walked into the living room and saw the door wide open. I didn't take him for one to wonder out the front door but I poked my head out anyway. Nathan saw my nervousness and grabbed me by the arm. He turned me around to him.

"Luke, what's wrong?"

"Where's Jamie? He was right here a second ago."

"He's probably in his room. Why?"

"I just had a bad feeling is all. One of those 'suddenly I know something isn't right' kinda things."

"Don't worry, Jimmy-Jam, is a good kid." He reassured me.

"Alright, I am gonna go cook us some dinner. Anything in particular, that you are in the mood for?" I asked walking into the kitchen.

I felt his arms wrap around my waist as he nuzzled into my neck. His breathe cause the hairs on the back of my neck to stand on end. "How about a piece of you." He said running his fingers down my back and squeezing my backside. I put my hands on his and turned my face toward him, catching his lips as I did. I turned my body toward him, never removing my lips from his. I traced his chest and abs making sure to pull him as close as possible. My eyes closed heightening the rest of my senses. I could smell his Nautica cologne mix with the smell of his sweat. I tasted his lips and a slight tang of the orange juice he drank. It was the most ethereal moment in my life. Time seemed to stand still and it felt like we were floating above the floor. It's that moment in your life when you realize you've found your one true love.

"Knock, knock." We heard Chase call from the back door.

I pushed Nathan away from me and straightened my clothes as best as I could. "We're in here, Chase." I called.

"Hey guys, I was just wondering if I could perhaps borrow Jamie for the day."

"Why?" Nathan asked clearly knowing the answer.

"What you mean Brooke hasn't stopped by yet? Maybe she was telling me the truth about telling me first. Well…it looks like I am going to be a dad."

"Congratulations, Chase."

"Yeah, good for you guys."

"I figured I could use some practice before our baby comes. I haven't spent as much time with Jamie as I would have like to. So I am taking some time off of work to take care of things for Brooke and the baby."

"Yeah, let me get him. He loves hanging out with Brooke and Peyton. But I have a feeling spending the day with another guy will do the kid some good. I swear I heard him say something about polyester making girls look fat. Clearly too much time with Brooke."

"Yeah, that's the only reason I am hoping for a girl." He said as Nathan walked down the hallway to J.Luke's room.

"So are you excited?"

"I wish I felt more excited. Brooke is over the moon and I feel nervous. But I am going to do whatever it takes to be a good dad."

"Whatever you do don't, under any circumstance even say the word fat. She rambled for five whole minutes about how you plotted to make her fat."

"Ouch, thanks for the advise. So what about you, Luke? Ever want to have a baby of your own?"

"Everyday. But right now I am just happy with Jamie. Maybe one day. Not sure how but one day." 

"Luke" Nathan shouted running into the room, clearly panicked.

"What, what's wrong?"

"I can't find Jamie. Where's Jamie?"

"Did you check outside?"

"I came in that way he wasn't there."

"Nathan, you and Chase check out back. Look everywhere. I will check out front. Chase while you're looking call the girls and have them rush over. We need a full scale search."

"Got it."

I rushed out the front door screaming Jamie's name. I searched the bushes by the front door and saw no sign of him. I ran up and down the block when I saw it. A huge skid mark in the middle of our street, right in front of our house. Across the street, under a neighbor's car was Jamie's basketball.

"Nathan." I screamed. I ran across the street and scooped the ball into my arms. '_Where was my little guy?_ '

"Luke." He called hearing me across the house. "Luke, what.." He stopped mid sentence seeing me holding the ball and openly crying.

"Chase call the cops. Someone took my son…No someone took our son. He said grabbing me and pulling me into him. I cried into his shirt and had no intention of stopping.


	10. Could It Be Good News?

To all of my faithful readers. Hello again. I am happy to be bringing you the newest chapter. I also hope that you all review because it brings me so much joy, and even though I hate it it doesn't push me to write faster. And I know that some of you are holding your stories ransom waiting for mine (cough cough- countrybutterfly). This chapter takes a turn that both my boyfriend and I wish real life could take. So enjoy!

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**Chapter 10: ****Could it be Good News?**

Peyton and Brooke arrived at the house within seconds. I could hear them come in from the bedroom. Nathan had forced me back here to try and calm down. By now the need to cry was still hanging over my body, but the tears were gone and not coming back. I lay in bed while Nathan paced the room. A harsh look one his face adorned with stormy brown eyes. He didn't cry…he didn't scream. He was calm, too calm. I appeared as if Nathan had been replaced with a cardboard cut out. He was being strong, and I felt regret for making him worry about me when he should be more concerned with Jamie. I threw the comforter off of me and took Nathan into my arms. I squeezed him as tight as I could to show him that I was okay. Our embrace wasn't magical, and it wasn't like in romance novels. It was one of sustenance; we needed to make sure that the other was doing okay. We needed to make sure that the other person was there and not going anywhere. And for that moment we were completely connected in our worry.

A loud thud broke both our thoughts and our bodies. Nathan took on the role of protector and stood in front of me as he opened the door. An equally hard faced Peyton stood facing us. "The cops are here you guys. They want to question all of us."

"Alright." Nathan said grabbing my hand and leading me down the hall where a plain clothed cop was waiting. He asked us routine questions like what he was wearing, and when was the last time we saw him. Then he asked the all important question.

"Mr. Scott, is there anyone who would want to take or harm your son?"

"No, the only person who would've is still in jail."

"And who is that?"

"My father, Dan Scott. He's in jail for murdering his brother, my uncle."

"Was.." Brooke interrupted.

"Excuse me." The police officer countered questioning the brunette.

"Was…There is a letter here from the prison announcing his release three days ago. I just found it snooping through your mail."

Shock washed over Nathan and me. The police officer nodded his head, mumbling something about putting a search team out. Then he made his exit, leaving the five of us to contemplate the new break in the investigation. It had to be Dan. We had been successful in canceling his parole. I'm pretty sure he was holding a grudge. I just can't believe that he would harm his own grandson just to spite his son….or sons.

"Hey Nate, can I talk to you for a minute." I asked, my voice shaking out of fear.

"Yeah, sure. Excuse us guys. Just relax for a minute. We'll be right back."

Chase, Peyton and Brooke nodded in agreement. They were clearly upset. Some more than others. Brooke was taking it the worst. Jamie was her godson and she had spent so much time with the little guy.

We walked down the hall and my heart felt like all life was being squeezed out of it. My breath was shallow and my chest tightened. It had been so long since I had felt like this. It was shortly after Haley had been hit by Dante, when I was first diagnosed with HCM. I placed my hand on Nathan's arm letting him know something was wrong. I gritted my teeth and clenched my eyes shut, hoping to ease the pain. Before I knew it I was falling against the wall, slowly sliding down. I spent so much energy making sure that Nathan knew I was okay, that I actually forgot to make sure that I was feeling okay.

"Chase, come help me." Nathan shouted. Chase responded, running in with Brooke and Peyton in tow. I was fazing in and out of consciousness and could hear only bits and pieces of their conversation.

"He's waking up." Brooke shouted in my face.

"Where am I? Where's Jamie?" I asked feeling a sense of confusion and nausea.

"Luke, we are on the way to the hospital. You passed out and your heart stopped again. We need to make sure that you're okay. Did you take your medicine this morning?" Chase explained.

"Yeah, I started taking the new meds last week."

"What new meds? Luke, did you take your black pill this morning?"

"No, the doctor switched it. He said that the new pill will have fewer side effects."

I caught Brooke looking at Nathan and became a little uneasy. "What is going on you two?"

"Luke, things seem a little odd. I mean we've both seen you be really moody lately and now you're passing out. Who is your doctor?"

"Dr. Crenshaw, why?"

"Isn't that Dan's personal doctor?"

"Well, yeah, I started going to him when I moved in with Dan all those years ago."

"Luke, don't take any more of that medication, okay? I don't trust him right now."

"I already finished the bottle. He told me to finish the bottle and that I wouldn't need to take any more medication for my HCM again."

"Alright, we'll talk to the doctors when we get to the emergency room." And that was the last thing I remembered him saying. Brooke and Chase were sitting next to me and they were talking about Dan.

"What if he had his doctor switch Luke's meds? Did he do it to try and hurt him?" Brooke questioned, tears streaming down her face slowly and saturating Chase's shirt.

"Let's not think about that. Let's concentrate on getting him looked at. We have to be positive."

"We're here guys. Chase can you help him get out. Peyton, Brooke, can you guys go tell someone and get us some help." Nathan ordered pulling in to a parking spot as close to the emergency room as he could get.

Nathan embraced me and I clung on to dear life. I was barely coherent but just being in his arms made things seem better than they were. He carried me into the emergency room where I was met with a nurse and a wheel chair. Nathan placed me in the wheel chair and wheeled me into the back room against the nurse's wishes. Their doctor checked my vitals and noted my decreased pulse. He forced Nathan to exit the room while he gave me a thorough exam. He even ran a sonogram to check for a cause of the constant pain I was in. After he was finished the doctor asked Nathan to return.

"Alright gentlemen, I have a couple questions for you, Luke. The first is about medical history. Are there are health issues I should be concerned about?"

"I have HCM, and my doctor recently changed my medication. I'm afraid it may not be working."

"HCM, huh? I haven't had a patient with that in over ten years. He took you off of Betapace or were you on Norpace?"

"Betapace, it's the big black pill. Now I am on Pregnor."

"Pregnor, but that's not an anti-arrhythmic. That's…Wait, can I ask you guys a question. Are you two together?"

My face turned a slight tinge of red and Nathan grabbed my hand and entangled his with mine. He was showing me that he was strong and was okay with out relationship. I nodded at him, telling him to answer this one.

"Yeah, we are."

"Well, then this makes it a better situation."

"Why?"

"Well, first and foremost I am going to need your physician's information because I am going to have to report them to the Ethics Board. Secondly, your heart did stop and that is because of the medication change. Pregnor, like I said before, is not an anti-arrhythmic. It is a new experimental drug. It is not FDA approved. It is supposed to speed up the heart rate. This concerns me because other effects have been noted on homosexual males that can be just as devastating."

"Alright Doc, a lot of this is flying over my head." Nathan interjected, hoping to get a clue as to what was being said.

"Well the medication that Lucas should be taking should slow his heart down to reduce the hardening and stopping of his heart. The new medication, if taken completely, will start to regenerate parts of a male's body. It will cause a lining to form from the diaphragm until it forms a bubble in the man's stomach. Then it will fill with fluid and a small sac. When men engage in intercourse without protection, the sperm will enter the body. Normally then know to search for an egg in women, well this sac will send off similar hormone trails leading the sperm to the sac. When the sperm enter, the body will change into a birthing chamber where a fetus will form."

Finally, understanding what was told to me. I had a list of questions. "Are you telling me that I can get pregnant?"

"No, not get pregnant. You are pregnant. I hope that this is not a major problem, as an abortion is extremely risky and has no success rate."

"Well, this is going to take some discussing. Now am I going to start taking my old medication again? Will that have any effect on the baby?"

"There will be no side effects for the baby…which I should clarify is babies. It is too early to tell the exact sex but males are predominate in these cases."

"Doctor Minnow, thank you for everything. Am I going to be able to leave tonight?"

"Yes, I just want to draw some blood and do another sonogram so that I can get you pictures. Is there a rush? You both seem in a hurry?"

"Well, someone kidnapped my son today and the police are searching for him but I want to search for myself." Nathan answered.

"Well, give me five minutes and I will have you guys out of here." He said leaving the room to gather some instruments. He came back in a minute rolling the sonogram machine back in as well as a tray with a syringe on it. He drew blood easily and covered my stomach with the cold gel. He quickly spotted two small forms and snapped the pictures. As he went to get them, Nathan cleaned up my stomach, kissing me on the forehead.

"Are you okay, Luke?" He asked.

"I hope to get okay with all of this. I don't know whether to hate Dan or thank him for this. I know in his heart he wanted to kill me but he could have given me the greatest gift of all. I just don't know what he is capable of. When he finds out about us, what is he going to do?"

"Don't worry about that now. We'll worry about Jamie and the two inside of you."

"Alright, gentlemen. Hopefully the news, you've been given is happy..."

"Surprising, but very happy." I announced, reading a similar expression on Nathan's face.

"Good, then I an add some more. As I went to get the photos I was bombarded by some guests of yours. I believe there are a police officer and an anxious little boy waiting for you."

My ears perked up at the mention of a little boy, presumably Jamie. The doctor quickly handed us the sonogram pictures and ushered us to the reception room. Upon entrance we were immediately bombarded by Jamie grabbing for us with a vice grip. We took him into our arms and saw the police officer from before and the expression on his face told us that there was quite a story to be told.

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P.S. I have started my own website which will be fully functional on March 20th, 2008. Which will give you all easier ways to contact me for those who don't have a ff log on. It also has pictures and all of my great stories. Hope to see you all there!!! 


	11. Boys Gone Wild

Chapter 11: untitled

**I hope that everyone enjoys the latest installment of ****My Brother, My Lover****. I am debating about changing the title. As always please read and review. Any and all criticism whether constructive or not is appreciated. Hugs and Kisses. L.Kerr**

**Chapter 11: ****Boys Gone Wild**

We drove home that night, keeping a focus on Jamie and the events surrounding his disappearance. The cop had been vague; because it seemed that a young woman called in and said she had him when he arrived at a store she worked at. That was all the information he could give me. According to him, Jamie had been terrified of the police officers and would only tell his daddy what happened. All they cared about was that he was alright. If he told who took him, then they would prosecute.

The woman who called in was Millicent. According to Jamie, he was playing in the front yard when a man in a shiny silver car drove up and told asked him if his dad was home. He said he had tickets to the Bobcat game and wanted to give them to him. Jamie said that we were home and when he turned around the man grabbed him and pulled him into the car. He tried screaming but we couldn't hear him. When the car pulled to a stop, Jamie threw the door open and ran as fast as he could. He got away from the man but was lost in an unfamiliar part of town. He asked a lady where Grace Street was. The only address he had memorized was the address to Brooke's store. So he listened to the directions and ran all the way to the store. Millicent took care of him until he told her that some guy took him from his home. She immediately called the police, knowing that he would need to be checked out.

I was glad to be holding Jamie in my arms watching Nathan drive us all back home. Brooke's eyes were red, but her face was filled with such joy. Chase had his arm wrapped around her waist and his hand was lying on her stomach. She placed hers over his and stared into her eyes. I was glad to see her happy and I was excited to let her know the news. It was her more than anyone else that I wanted to share the news with. I held Jamie with my right hand and I intertwined the fingers on my left hand with Nathan's.

"We're here." Nathan called, pulling everyone out of their own daydreams and bringing them back to reality.

"Daddy, I'm scared."

"It's okay, buddy. I promise that no one will ever hurt you again."

"Yeah, buddy. We are all here to take care of you." Brooke chimed in.

"Okay. Can I go play in my room?" He asked the timidity in his voice apparent and noticed.

"Sure. We can talk about what happened today later."

"What's there to talk about? The officer said I was brave and saved myself."

"Well buddy, eventually we are going to need you to tell us who took you. Because they could do it to some other boy and we don't want that do we?"

"He won't do it again. He said it was to hurt you. He said that faggots would burn in...In…"

"You can say it Jamie." I said hoping to comfort him. I took a seat on the couch and patted the cushion next to me hoping to get his to sit with me. Brooke sat on the floor the left of me while Peyton sat on the love seat as Chase stood. "We won't be mad." Nathan left the room.

"Hell. He said "in hell" and that's a bad place. What's a faggot?" 

I grabbed him close and hugged him tightly. I couldn't believe that my father had tainted Jamie so much. To tell a child that is unfathomable. "Don't worry about it."

Nathan returned holding a piece of paper. He knelt in front of Jamie and handed him a photograph. "Is this the man, Jimmie Jam?"

"Yeah, who is he daddy?" He asked, passing me the photograph.

"He is just a bad man. No need to worry."

"Yeah, why don't we go play with some of your toys, huh?" Peyton said getting up from the love seat with Chase in tow. He was adamant about spending time with him before and he seemed just as adamant now. I was glad to see them getting back with their lives. It would be therapeutic for Jamie to forget the event even though they weren't extremely traumatic they could have a negative impact.

Nathan sat in the seat, previously occupied by his son, and I lay against his chest. His arm wrapped around me and he played with the belt loop on my jeans. I watched Brooke rub her stomach, already growing an attachment to the child inside her. I closed my eyes and imagined what a great mother she would be. Nathan's hand left my jeans alone and he began rubbing circles on my stomach. Inside I was bursting at the seams to tell Brooke my news, but at the same time I wasn't. It had been such a shock and crazy thing that Nathan and I were barely able to register the information. How could I expect her or anyone else for that matter to process?

"Stop it, Broody." I heard Brooke chastise me playfully from across the room. It pulled me out of my thoughts and forced me to stare at her.

"Stop what?"

"Stop brooding and tell us whatever is on your mind."

I looked up at Nathan, searching for an answer. "Should we tell them?"

"It's nothing to be ashamed of, Babe. Sooner or later they will find out." He said kissing me lightly on the forehead.

"Why don't you get Chase, Peyton, and Jamie? Then we can share."

She cocked her eyebrow, as if trying to figure me out, and proceeded to gather the other occupants. In the few seconds it took, I had left Nathan's inviting arms and began pacing the room. I was fidgeting with my shirt and continuously ruffling me hair. Nathan got up from the couch and stood behind me. His hands met mine and I could feel my nerves begin to relax. Everyone returned and caught us standing in the middle of the room, just being in our own little world.

"Break it up you two." Peyton interrupted.

"Yeah, before this turns into a Boys Gone Wild." Brooke seconded.

"Well, I wanna be in it if it's a Boys Gone Wild." Chase yelled, clearly missing the insinuation Brooke made.

"Chase, are you trying to tell me that you're gay?" Brooke asked.

"What…no…no…"

"Good, 'cause Boys Gone Wild is an adult film geared toward the Lucas' of the world."

"Oh, okay, never mind. I don't want to do it anymore."

"Oh come on Chase, you know you wanna see them naked." Peyton teased.

"Yeah, I don't really do well with naked men. Not really my kinda thing."

"Alright. No more teasing my husband."

"Right. Chase, come here." I requested. He hesitated, but eventually he walked towards me.

"Now you can't say anything when I tell you my secret. Okay?"

"Sure."

I leaned in and whispered in his ear, something surprising but not the truth. His immediate response was to shout it out. But Nathan threw his hand over Chase's mouth the minute his mouth opened. I grabbed Peyton's hand and whispered the same secret in her ear as well as telling her to keep it a secret. I added a hint that she should play up the news.

"This is so not fair guys. I want to know what's going on." Brooke whined.

"Why?"

"I don't know. But it seems juicy. So I want to know." She said again in a whining way.

I walked toward her and grabbed her arm, guiding her toward the bedroom. I sat on the bed and began to tell her what was going on. "So I wanted you to be the first to know, because you are like my other half Brooke. You are the balance in my life and I love you for that."

"What's going on Luke? You're getting all broody on me."

"Well as you know, Dan kidnapped Jamie. But what you don't know is that he tried to kill me."

"What?" She screamed, completely shocked and aggravated. "It was the medication wasn't it?"

"Yeah, the medication he put me on actually speeds up the heart." I smiled, although the moment didn't call for it.

"Which could give you an attack at any moment? Wait, why are you smiling?"

"Because in trying to kill me, he gave me the greatest gift of all."

"Luke, have you gone loco crazy."

"Here take a look for yourself." I said handing her the two sonograms.

She stared at the pictures, cocking her eyebrow every few seconds waiting to be told it was all just a joke. "Who'd you get knocked up?"

"Brooke, they print the name of the mother on the actual sonogram. Didn't you see it?"

"Yeah, but it just has your name. You're not saying."

"Yeah, that's exactly what he is saying." Nathan answered from the doorway.

"Ohmigod, Luke. That is great." She said jumping up and down and eventually into my arms.

"Yeah, now you guys can get fat together."

"Brooke Adams does not get fat. She gets curvy."

"Well Luke here is lanky so any weight might do him some good."

"I hear screaming." Peyton called from the hallway.

"Party in the bedroom." Chase yelled walking on all fours with Jamie on his back. "So what are we celebrating?"

"Well we are celebrating the addition to our group." Nathan answered vaguely.

"Well, duh. Brooke already told us."

"Yeah, but Luke didn't tell you that he was pregnant."

"Men can't get pregnant. That's impossible." Chase said, seemingly unnerved.

"That's what we thought. But it seems that the medication the doctor gave me is designed to form a make shift uterus inside my body allowing me to carry a baby or in my case two."

"Wow. Odd and exciting." Peyton said not able to formulate sentences.

"So this is a good thing, right?" Chase asked.

"For everyone. I get to have children of my own. And as an added plus to you, whenever Brooke complains that she looks fat. Just compare her to me. I'll be huge."

"Rock on. I love that." Brooke added. "This could totally rock. I can share my experiences with someone else going through a pregnancy with me. I won't think I am fat and my best guy friend is going to be happy. I might cry."

"Please don't. We need to save them for when we're further along. I heard you can make a man do anything when you're hormonal."

"Alright. Why don't we stop right there. There will be no plotting against the guys." Nathan commanded.

"I'm a guy." I reminded him.

"Yeah, anyway. I was thinking why don't us guys, excluding Lucas who's like a girl now can go out for a guy's day out tomorrow, while you girls go shopping for baby books."

"Nathan Royal Scott, I can guarantee you that the solid piece of man meat between my legs dictates that I am a man and if you ever make a comment like that again I swear I will go all Lorraine Bobbitt on you."

"Who's Lorraine Bobbitt?" Chase asked.

"Honey, you don't want to know." Brooke answered, trying to avoid impending mental pain.

"Well I do." Peyton urged.

"Lorraine Bobbitt was a lovely woman from Anchorage who caught her husband being unfaithful." I explained.

"So?"

"Well she decided that she didn't want to share his private parts with other women and since he couldn't be trusted she decided that he would have to part with it. She chopped it off and threw it into a field."

"Oh, ouch. Did he die? What happened to it?"

"No, they eventually found it and sewed it back on."

"Alright, Luke. I get the point. No more jokes. I love you." Nathan said, kissing me on the forehead.

"Glad you learned your lesson. And if it matters, agree to your plans tomorrow."

"Guys go out and have some guy time and you girls…I mean you all go out and start getting prepared for the babies."

"Good save, and yes. Is that okay with everyone?"

Affirmations circled around the group and everyone began making their way back to the living room. Brooke and Chase gathered their things and headed out with Peyton trailing behind. I scooped Jamie into my arms and I knew it was time to make sure he understood what was going on.

"Jamie, did you hear that Aunt Brooke is going to have a baby?"

"Yeah."

"Well guess what buddy? Uncle Luke is going to be your new daddy."

"You daddy? You goin to heaben too?"

"No, buddy. I will always be your daddy but Luke is going to be your second daddy." Nathan explained holding up to fingers hoping it would make his explanation easier.

"Yay." Jamie yelled, clapping his hands wildly.

"And soon you are going to have two new brothers or sisters."

"I be big bruder?"

"Yep, you will be a big brother." I answered, kissing him on the cheek.

I stared into his little eyes and saw life again and I doubted that he would remember the trauma he went through today. We were lucky enough to have great news that would push the bad thoughts and memories out of his mind.


	12. Boxing Match

**2 chapters left and I am officially the worst updater/author person….in the history of ever. So sorry.**

**Chapter 12: ****Boxing Match**

6 months later

I lay in the bed rubbing circles on my swollen stomach. The boys must have known that we were going over to Brooke's today, as they were unusually hyper. I slowly pulled myself up and waddled over the dresser. I pulled out a pair of sweatpants and struggled to put them on. Sitting on the bed, I thought about how much I hated being this fat. The simplest of tasks became a production. Nathan had better steer clear or I am going to hanging him from the ceiling by his toes. I leaned further back on the bed, lifting my legs up slightly and propelled myself forward. It was the only way I knew to get out of bed without anyone's help. I waddled to closet and grabbed a maternity shirt from my vast collection. Brooke had gone on a designing spree prior to us getting to big for fear of her wearing floral prints and me wearing women's clothing. I have to admit the clothes were pretty amazing. They didn't hide the fact that I was nearly eight months pregnant, but who cares. I pulled the shirt down over my bulging mid-section and headed out the door.

Thank god Brooke only lived around the corner because driving was impossible and walking was downright painful. I heard some tires screech behind me and thought nothing of it, probably some teenager showing off. I turned the corner when someone put a bag over my head. I struggled as best as I could, feeling the black bag tighten around my neck. I clawed and kicked at my attacker. However, my increased weight and lack of stamina allowed my attacker to pull me toward a nearby vehicle so that he could push me in. He thrust me face down onto the car carpet. He grabbed my arms and twisted them back to tie them together. I screamed out of fright and pain, calling out to Nathan, begging him to come help me. The moment Nathan's name left my lips; my attacker wrapped his hands around my neck pressing tightly. I could feel his presence as he leaned closer to me, whispering in my ear, "My son can't help you now, Lucas."

Knowing it was Dan; I fought back harder, trying to get away. He pushed me further into the vehicle and slammed the door. He got in the front seat and turned the engine over. I tried to push my self up but gravity was not on my side in this situation.

"Let me go, Dan." I shouted through the cloth. He grabbed my hair through the black bag and slammed my head into the floor. He pulled my head up again and inadvertently tore the bag off my head again.

"Not a chance.

"What do you want?" I said tremors, defying my intention of coming off strong.

"You permanently removed from my son's life. I thought that by marrying someone he'd forget about you. But no, he had to marry that worthless friend of yours." Venom dripped off his every word.

"Nathan will keep looking for me. Even though you don't like it, he loves me." I said through gritted teeth. I'm guessing that he didn't appreciate that because he slammed his fist into my head. I could feel the car swerve because of it.

"I will make sure he forgets you and those demon spawn of yours. He will have Jamie and find someone new. A nice girl perhaps."

"Nathan loves me and these kids. They mean everything to him, and so do I. He will never forgive you for what you're going to do." I said breathing heavily into the thick carpet.

"Good nudge to get me to tell you my plan, Luke. First, I am going to lock you up somewhere far away, where you'll deliver the twins. I'll kill you and then parade the boys around town to Nathan. When he asks, I'll tell him that you left them on my doorstep with a note saying that you can't stand to look at them. That you hate Nathan and you see him in the boys."

"He won't believe you."

"I can be very persuasive, Lucas. I convinced your mom to open the diner, Deb to turn to pills, and Keith to sell his shop to me."

"How is it that you have an answer to everything?"

"Because I have spent the last year planning this. Since my first plan fell through, I had to have a plan B. I was just going to kill you but with the twins, they add a new little twist. I could always kill the twins, if that would make you happy."

"Leave my children, alone." I screamed, bouncing off my belly into a sitting position. I turned my back to the door and gripped the door handle. I yanked it open and fell out onto my back, rolling as Dan's car kept going down the street. Once I stopped, I looked to see if he was heading back this way. It didn't look as if he would, so I lay my head on the hard asphalt, trying to calm my rapid breathing and the pain shooting through my body. I heard someone scream my name but I was too tired to open my eyes. I felt people standing over me, whispering things I couldn't hear.

Then I heard nothing. No sound, no feeling, just nothing. I worked toward opening my eyes. But the light was too bright, almost like when you first wake up in the morning, only more intense. I moved my arms and felt trapped. I was trapped physically and mentally. I could feel myself start to panic, but I knew better. I had been in this situation before. It was another HCM attack. I centered my mind, focusing on the children who depended on me. I could feel my breathing slow down, my heart stopped racing and my muscles relaxed. It was working; now time to open my eyes. I flicked them open and found the room dimmer than before. I saw figures standing around me, but I still felt safe. I can't explain it but a sense of calm took over me when I saw the figures.

Once my eyes began to focus, I saw Chase and Brooke standing there both clearly upset. Brooke was sitting in the comfortable chair dozing off into a deep sleep. Chase was by my side, where Nathan should have been. _Where was Nathan?_ I opened my mouth to speak but only a squeak came out. My mouth was unbelievably dry and it scratched my throat to try to make any sound. I made an unsuccessful attempt to sit up but at least I caught Chase's eye. He immediately perked up and helped me sit up. He was really quiet, maybe too quiet. He walked over to Brooke and gave her a couple taps while I reached for the nearby cup of ice water. I drained the cup as she came to life. Had she not been as extremely pregnant as I was she would have leapt across the room into my bed, with excitement. But she struggled and with Chase's help she waddled over the chair previously occupied by her husband.

"Hey Luke, you okay?" She asked her voice cracking.

"I feel like crap. How are they?" I asked looking down at my engorged midsection as I rubbed circles across it.

"Okay for now. They are going to keep checking just to make sure." Chase answered. "I've got to go find a little guy, he was worried about you. Be right back." He kissed Brooke on the forehead as he left in search of Jamie.

"What happened Luke?"

"Where's Nathan?" I asked deflecting the question. With Dan still out there I didn't want to do anything to further put my family in jeopardy.

"They took him downtown for questioning. The police said that they had witnesses say it was Nathan who threw you out of the car."

"What? No one threw me out of a car…"

"Yes, they did Lucas. Chase saw it with his own eyes. He was the one who brought you here."

"Brooke, you don't understand. I threw myself out of that car."

"Were you trying to have a miscarriage? How could you do that to your kids after everything you went through to have them?"

"Brooke, I was kidnapped. I was put in that car and I would have died had I not done what I did. These kids are my life. I would never do anything to hurt them."

"Who tried to kidnap you?"

"Don't worry. I have a feeling it won't happen again."

"Was it really Nathan?…Or was it…No!"

"If by "No" you mean Dan…yes. He said he wanted me out of Nathan's life and he meant it. He was going to wait until the twins were born to kill me. Then he was going to take the twins to Nathan telling him that I no longer wanted to see him."

"I'm so sorry Luke. I'm going to go give Nate a call. He should really be here."

"I'm here." Nathan said standing in the doorway looking crushed.

"I'll just leave you two." Brooke said as she snaked around Nathan to leave the room.

"Are you okay? I've heard some things, none of which I like."

"I'm okay, a little sore. The boys are fine. Not so jumpy anymore."

"You want to tell me what happened? Why I get a call saying you were thrown from a car and then the police take me in for questioning."

"I was kidnapped Nate. I did what I had to do to keep these little guys safe." I said rubbing my stomach and feeling kicks.

"I appreciate trying to save the boys, Luke. But we need to take care of you too."

"That would be easy if you're dad wasn't around."

"The cops will get him and then nothing will mess with our family." Nathan said, leaning closer to my hospital bed.

I placed my head against his chest, as comfortably as I could. "Promise?"

"Promise."


	13. Second Attempt

I am back. The muse of fanfiction has once again flooded my soul. I apologize for the wait. I know a few of you sent me poisoned Christmas cookies. Here is the new chapter. As always RxR.

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**Chapter 13: ****Second Attempt**

"Good. Now shuffle your butt in here, Nate." I ordered playfully, patting the space beside me in the hospital bed. "Your spots free."

"Alright, but just until the nurse kicks me out." He laughed.

Nathan climbed in beside me and I instantly felt better. I placed my head on his chest.

"I love you, Luke." He kissed my forehead, just like he would at home.

"I love you too, Nathan." I responded, snuggling closer to his body.

"Get some sleep, babe. After the day you've had, you need it."

I looked up at him. "Just don't leave okay. I'm still pretty shaken up."

"Wouldn't dream of it."

As much as I fought, sleep fought harder. My eyes drooped down as slowly as I could manager. I felt Nathan beneath me, or fingers intertwined. That made it better. The doctor's must have given me good drugs. Once my eyes closed sleep overtook my body. There were no dreams though. I wasn't expecting that. I was expecting a body-thrashing nightmare.

…

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…

I doubt I slept that long. Glancing around the room, I found it to be unnaturally dark. I couldn't see my hand in front of my face. Nathan was no longer in the bed so I assumed the nurse had indeed kicked him out.

Sitting up, I reached for the cup of ice chips on the side table. After two failed attempts, I swung my legs over the edge and pulled the table closer. Water melted to the bottom of the Styrofoam cup and I guzzled it eagerly. I munched on a couple of ice chips before I decided to call Nathan. I searched the side table but couldn't find it. I swore Nathan placed it there last night. I pushed the table forward, searching underneath in case it fell. It wasn't there either.

"Looking for this?" I snapped my head around and saw Dan with my phone in hand.

"Stay away from me Dan." I ordered. I pushed myself off of the bed in hopes of making it to the door.

But Dan was in front of the door before I could take a step. "No way Luke." He laughed knowing he placed himself between me and my freedom. "You're not going anywhere."

Why won't you leave us alone?" I begged. I didn't know what else to do.

"You took my son from me. You destroyed my life and now I'm going to return the favor." I watched as his hand disappeared behind his back and reappeared with a gun. At that moment, I froze.

"Scared Luke? You should be." Dan lifted the gun and aimed right at me.

I stepped backwards never losing sight of Dan or the gun, until I felt the bed press behind me. "I give Dan. Go ahead." I said waiting for Dan to pull the trigger.

"Giving up so easily. Where's the Scott courage?"

"Either way we lose, Dan. If you kill me Nathan will know. If you let me live then you still hate me." I explained. "Nathan isn't even your real son."

This clearly agitated Dan. He ran toward me and pointed the gun at my head. I tried to glare at him with a hard face but my emotions betrayed me. Tears fell from my eyes and I couldn't ignore the fear. Staring into his eyes, I saw nothing but hatred.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the door swing open. Dan caught it too and hid the gun behind his back.

"Hey Luke, how.." Nathan never finished his sentence because he stood there frozen.

"It's good to see you son." Dan said greeting his son with a much more cheerful disposition than he gave me moments ago.

"I'm good. How about you? You're a little early aren't you? Nathan asked, glancing at his watch. The gun reappearing.

I felt like I was in the Twilight Zone. Nathan knew that Dan was gonna be here. _What the hell was going on here?_ _Didn't he see the gun?_

"What are you doing, Nate? I thought you loved me?" I said my throat scratchy and my voice shaking.

"Waiting patiently for my children. Then _dad_ will finish you off and I get my life back." Nathan explained, placing emphasis on dad. I saw the same hatred that Dan had in his eyes.

That pissed me off. "You chose this Nathan. You chose to be with me." I yelled, roughly pushing him.

"No, you corrupted him. You brainwashed him with your faggot behavior." Dan screamed through clenched teeth.

"Hey relax, dad. I can handle this." Nathan comforted Dan, placing his hand on his shoulder.

Nathan took the gun from Dan's hand and waved it at me.

The anger was gone and the fear came back. "I thought you loved me. I though this meant something, you and me." I cried.

He pulled me into his arms wrapping his body tightly to mine. "Trust me, babe."

"You're an asshole."

Then he started grinding on me. You were just a convenient piece of ass. It meant nothing." He sneered.

For the second time that night I pushed Nathan. "Then get out. Leave me be and I'll leave you alone. Hell, I'll leave town. Just get out." I screamed.

"No can do. I'm not leaving without my sons." Nathan said walking toward me. He pressed the barrel to my head. "It'll all be over in a minute Luke."

"I love you Nate. If this is what you have to do then do it." I said more at Dan than Nathan. I knew this was all Dan's doing.

"Not have to…want to. And don't blame my dad. He had nothing to do with this."

"Go on son…pull the trigger." Dan encouraged, standing behind Nathan he must've felt like a real man.

"I think I like the idea of patricide. Don't you, Luke?" He asked.

I looked up at him quizzically. "What?"

And Nathan jerked around and shot Dan right between the eyes.

A scream left my mouth when the gun went off. Nathan was pushed back by the recoil.

I stared at Dan's body slumped on the floor. I couldn't take my eyes off of him. I was waiting for him to pop back up, but it never happened. The next thing I knew I was the one falling to the ground. The shock finally catching up with me.


	14. The Darkness

**Hey guys, I am soooooo sorry for the long wait. I had this story written but all of my notebooks were stolen. So I had to try to rewrite it and it is tough. But enough of my sob story. Please read and review.**

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****Chapter 14: ****The Darkness**

The darkness consumed by body and cut off my senses. Instead of the dark nothingness that I had faced before, this darkness had a higher sense of consciousness.

I was confused. One minute I was lying in bed with Nathan, exchanging words of love and the next I'm pushing him away as he points a gun to my head. Then in a blink of an eye, I watch him murder Dan.

A part of me wants to believe that Nathan knew what he was doing and that he had everything under control. But didn't he know that misleading Dan could have ended badly. And I know his argument, "But it didn't. I had to do something to keep you safe."

Usually his sense of overprotection was loveable, but this was downright stupid. Now that I think about it, his anger towards me seemed so real that I can't help but think that there are some unresolved issues there. But how do I confront him on that without making him think that I don't trust him. Trust is an important part of our relationship. Regardless of what Nathan and I have faced, we have always been trusting of each other. So right now, I need to trust in Nathan or it might not be worth waking up for. My life has not been easy…not that I think it should be, but the lies and torment has gotten to be a little much.

Closing my eyes, I try to calm myself down. My emotions are running wild and I can clearly see that my current tangent will only lead me down the contemplating suicide path. But I'll be damned if I go there today.

Clearing my mind, I open my eyes to find Nathan standing in front of me. Not real Nathan, because I haven't managed to wake up yet. Dream Nathan stands there smiling, his arms wide open welcoming me. I rush into him, my body molding against his just like it does every day. I'm warmed by his body heat and entranced by his natural scent.

Nathan rubbed circles on my lower back and I sobbed into his chest. "I'm sorry babe. I never should have put you in danger like that." He said trying to calm me down.

"You scared me Nate. I mean really scared me. I thought you were going to shoot me." I cried, my tears staining his shirt.

"I should have thought about it more. I should have taken your feelings into account. I'm so sorry Luke. I just…I just had to do something to keep you safe. You're my world. I didn't think I'd kill him but I did what I had to do to protect you and our children." I couldn't help but stare deep into his eyes as he explained his motives, his hands resting on my stomach.

"I love you for everything you've done Nathan."

Nathan lifted my chin, so that we were once staring into each other's eyes. "Lucas you are the love of my life and pretty soon you are going to give birth to my two beautiful sons. I would do whatever it takes to keep my family safe."

"I don't think you'll have to worry about that anymore." I gently kissed Nathan, feeling an extreme surge of love for this man.

"Good. Now I've got to go. But do me a favor and take everything in stride. And remember, I love you." He said as he unwrapped himself from me and walked away, disappearing into the darkness.

"Take what in stride? Nathan? Nathan?" I screamed after him. It hurt, it physically hurt to watch him leave. I dropped to my knees feeling as though I wouldn't see him again.

Again I found myself closing my eyes trying to get myself calmed down. I've never been such an emotional person. I've prided myself on being strong and levelheaded. Feeling my heart rate slow to a normal rhythm, and my breathing set, I opened my eyes.

This crazy death vision or whatever it is that I am stuck in is making me nauseous and irritable. Now instead of darkness, I see myself standing near a park bench just off the Rivercourt. A couple of teenagers had a game going on, the standard 2 on 2, skins versus shirts. Watching them reminded me of my days on this court with Skills, Fergie, Junk, and Mouth. These guys were in top form. They definitely had the offensive skills to really make their way up and down that court, but their defense had issues. It's a shame Whitey retired a couple years back because he'd have some great players.

Finishing the game, the shirts won and the guys began joking around. The worn basketball lay motionless at their feet.

"Lee, we gotta go. Our shift starts in an hour and we gotta shower." One of the brunette teens called as he walked towards a silver pick-up truck. I wasn't sure of which of the other three guys he was talking to until the only blonde in the group perked his head up.

Retorting to his friend, the blonde grabbed his bag and jogged to the truck. "I'm coming. I know how dad gets when we're late." Brothers…kind of reminded me of Nathan and myself. Although, we weren't on friendly terms at that age.

As the boys drove away, I couldn't help but feel an emotional tug. I tried to find the significance in this moment. I had to be here for a reason. Wondering what the significance was, the scene changed in a blink of an eye.

Now I found myself standing outside what used to be Keith's auto shop. The one Dan swindled him out of years ago. The sign still read "Scott's Auto". It warmed my heart to see it. Remembering the countless days I spent there fixing cars with Uncle Keith.

"Riley, let's go. Dad's gonna kill us." The blonde called after his darker haired brother as he ran toward the door.

I knew now that the raven-haired teen was Riley and the blonde was Lee.

The front door swung open and I heard a man call out to the teens, "Boys lets go. I have parts to pick up and I need you two to watch the shop." I couldn't see the man, but I assumed he was their father.

Feeling curious, I entered the storefront for the garage and found the teens donning dark blue mechanic shirts and manning the counter. I was relieved to see that little had changed as far as décor went.

Neither of the teens were aware of my presence and I had a gut feeling that I didn't exist in this time and space.

"What are we going to do for their anniversary, Lee?" Riley asked, watching his brother re-stock the motor oil.

Lee finished with the shelf he was working on and began rifling through papers on the counter. "Whatever it is it has to be big. Aunt Brooke and Uncle Chase are coming down from New York. Aunt Peyton and Uncle Jake are driving up from Savannah with Jenny and Miles. Even Jamie and Kylie will be here." My ears perked at the sound of unfamiliar names.

"How often do you hear about people making it to 18 years?"

"Hey Ri, look. Dad still keeps that picture of us here." Lee said, holding up a small photograph. From where I stood, I could only see the white backing.

"The one from when we were born." Riley asked, typing into the computer.

"Yeah. Come 'ere." Riley stopped what he was doing to look at the photograph.

"What?" Riley asked, looking at the snapshot.

"The look. They still look at each other like that. It can't be denied that our dads love each other."

I walked around to see the photograph and my hunch was confirmed. There in my arms were two beautiful babies. These two teens were the grown up versions of the babies I was currently carrying. And they had a point. The look that Nathan and I shared at that moment is the same look we give each other every time we look at one another.

Feeling arms slip around my waist, I nearly jumped out of my skin.

"Relax. It's just me." Nathan whispered in my ear. His breathe running over my ear, causing goose bumps. "I know life can get hard sometimes, but when I look at them. It all seems worth it."

Snuggling into Nathan's warm body, I took in his scent. "You're right. It is worth it." As the words left my lips, I watched the boys and the garage disappear into the darkness. Not shortly after that I felt Nathan fade out as well. Then I was left with the dark nothingness.

I could hear Nathan pleading with me, drops of water falling on my face. "C'mon Luke wake up. I need you babe. I can't do this without you."

Opening my eyes was hard, they felt heavy and try as I might, and they didn't budge. I thought about everything in my life worth living for. I thought about Nathan and Jamie and about wanting to watch my sons grow up. I focused, just like I did when I had my HCM attacks, and forced myself to open my eyes.

The room was dim but I could see Nathan clearly, sitting at bedside. His head hung low and I watched him place soft kiss to my hand. I shuffled my body back against the pillow, hoping that my action would catch his eye. His smile returned and he wiped the tears away with the back of his hand.

"I am so sorry Lu…" He said, pleading as much with his eyes as his words.

"Don't worry. You saved my life. I love you Nathan." I watched as Nathan left the chair and kiss me on the forehead.

"I love you Luke."


	15. The Name Game

**Hey guys. I am sooooo sorry for the wait. My computer crashed and I lost everything. Rewriting has been brutal. I will try to be faster. Lots of love to those still out there. LKerr**

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**Chapter 15: ****The Name Game**

The recent HCM attack meant that I was looking forward to a weeklong hospital stay. The doctors needed to make sure that I was stable and also that the attack hadn't harmed the twins. Then the medical team would have to figure out how the HCM meds would affect them or if it would allow them to develop immunity to it. Neither Nathan nor I wanted that should either of the twins develop the trait.

I could've used a weeklong vacation, had I not been confined to the hospital bed. Now I was stuck under Nathan's watchful eye, which after only 5 hours had gotten on my last nerve.

"How you feelin' Luke?" Nathan asked for the umpteenth time, drawing me from my thoughts. Looking at him, I could see the stress and exhaustion on his face. His eyes were glazed from sleep deficiency and even though he wouldn't admit it, I knew that killing Dan was eating at him.

I figured that a little humor might cheer him up. "You're asking me again? Nathan I'm fine. My heart rate is steady and my chest doesn't hurt. Are you trying to go for the world record or something?"

"No, smartass. I'm worried about you. I don't like feeling helpless." He chuckled trying to dismiss the emotion in his voice. I watched a forced smile creep across his face.

Nathan stood up from his chair and leaned across the bed to place a kiss on my forehead. "Why don't we look at the baby name books? These boys are expected to make their debut in a couple weeks and we don't have names." He said ruffling through his backpack, pulling out the three large books and placing them on the bed next to me.

Watching Nathan select his book, I considered telling him about my dream. I figured I didn't have anything to lose. "I dreamt about them. The boys. I got to watch them play basketball and go to work." I said softly, thumbing through the pages of the first book. "Descendent of Rog-Hail-Lick".

"Descendent of what?" Nathan questioned, arching his eyebrow all sexy.

"I doubt if I'm pronouncing it correctly but he was a mighty Irish king who died in battle." Sitting there I pondered what that actually meant. Irish kings were often great leaders due to their fighting prowess or their ability to successfully resolve conflicts. So they're strong of mind or strong of body.

"And this has to do with your dream? How?" Nathan asked looking at me like I had six heads.

"We named one of our boys Riley. I was just reading the meaning." I explained before turning back to the book.

I watched as Nathan softened for a moment. I could see that he was mulling the name over in his head. "Like Riley Cote or Riley Odom. I like it."

I couldn't help but laugh at his little sports outburst. "He looks like you Nate. The dark hair, brown eyes, confident for sure. What do you think about Noir (Know-are), for his middle name?"

"It sounds like a good name. What does it mean?"

"Literally black. But it describes film noir where the characters were tough, often in a bleak setting."

"Riley Noir Scott." I smirked liking the sound of it. "One down, one to go." Nathan cheered, doing a little touchdown dance.

I laughed at his playfulness. I knew a part of his was excited about being a dad and the other part was trying to liven me up. "Calm down. We still have another son."

"Well was the name of our other son in your dream?" I could see that Nathan was intrigued. This dream was proving to be the answer to a lot of questions for me.

"Riley kept calling him Lee." I answered starting to feel a little tired. I sunk further into the bed and pulled the covers up.

"No. I hate it. Lee is a girl's name. I will not name my son Lee." Nathan growled.

"Your son?" I yelled, tossing the book at him. I was a little made at his possessive demeanor.

"I didn't mean it like that." Again I watched Nathan soften, letting his anger subside. "I just don't like Lee as a name. It lacks substance compared to Riley." Nathan grabbed my hand, his thumb rubbing circles on the back of my hand. "Why don't we look at the Ls and see if anything pops out."

"I already know which one I like." Again I thumbed through the only book of baby names left on the bed until I found the name.

He stared at me expectantly. "Well?"

"You look first." I ordered, not wanting to take all the credit for naming our children.

Nathan pored over the L section making little notes on each page. I placed the book I held back on the bed near Nathan. The sleepiness was really starting to come on strong. Something about being in a hospital bed makes me sleepy. I snuggled under the blankets and laid my head down on the pillows.

"You tired babe?" Nathan asked, looking at me with concern showing in his eyes.

"Just a little. Keep looking." I nodded my head toward the book he was reading. Hoping that he didn't catch my lie.

Through my half open eyes, I watched Nathan start to put the books away. "I don't need to keep looking. Liam Adai (Uh-die). Liam means…"

I cut him off before he could finish. "Strong-willed warrior. That's the name I chose." I explained my eyes fully closed now. Yawning, I asked, "But why Adai? I've heard that before not sure where but I've heard that somewhere."

I felt Nathan lean in to kiss my forehead without seeing him do it. I forced my eyes to open to look at my dark –haired lover. "My Brother, My Lover. That's where you heard it. The character I wrote to describe you. His name was Adai."

I grabbed Nathan's shirt and pulled him down into me, my lips crashing against his as I put all of my energy into a single kiss. I could feel the heat spread across my face in a noticeable blush. My spine tingled down to my toes and I knew that this kiss was the one were you can feel every loving though the other person has ever had about you in a single moment.

Our need for oxygen took control and our lips separated, visibly swollen and tinged a slight rose color. Looking at Nathan, I caught sight of him blushing as well. "I love you Luke." He breathed rather heavily.

"I love you too Nathan." I snuggled into the warm bed.

Nathan intently read another baby book. This time he read about raising a newborn and what to expect. I could barely make out Haley's name on the cover. I'm sure its one of the many books she pored over while pregnant with Jamie. I remember that she didn't want to leave anything to chance. I can only hope that I'll do as good a job as Haley did.

"Go to bed Lucas. You need your rest." Nathan chastised without looking up from his reading.

"Yes dad." I teased, before closing my eyes and falling into a deep dreamless slumber.

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**As always Reviews are greatly appreciated and tend to light a fire under me. **


	16. Happily Ever After

**Well here it is guys. The finale. Thanks to all of those that have stayed with this and stayed with me. Please read and review...**

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**Chapter 16: ****My Happily Ever After**

Nathan POV

Watching Luke sleep has become second nature to me. Had someone told me two or even three years ago that I would have come out, be dating a guy I used to consider a stain on my dad's bed sheets, and be looking forward to the birth of our children together, I would have done some serious face pounding.

But being here, in this moment, I wouldn't change any of it. Although Luke looked peaceful, I could notice the small changes, those small signs of wear and tear. There were new wrinkles and worry lines that I wanted to kiss away. Knowing how much stress I put on him and the twins weighed heavily on me. I knew that I had to get Dan out of our lives before the bays came, but I couldn't imagine killing him. Deep down, I didn't want him dead; he's the man that raised me but... Then the mental switch went off. I wouldn't let him hurt Lucas.

The reality that I had killed someone started to sink in. I threw the books into my backpack and left. I needed time to think, to get my head screwed on right. I didn't want Lucas to see me falling apart and losing it like Dan had.

Exiting the hospital, I found that the weather mimicked my mood, the wind roaring and thrashing at me. The sky was an ominous black background scattered with scattered gray clouds and not a star in sight. The coldness seeped through my clothes and chilled me inside and out. A part of me wanted to run back into the warmth and safety of the hospital, of Lucas. But the stronger part of me forced my feet to move forward, deep into the depths of my mind to deal with my demons before my children arrived.

I walked aimlessly through the streets of Tree Hill. At almost midnight the streets were pretty much vacant and only added to my depressed mood. My feet led me closer and closer to my old house, the one I once shared with my mom and Dan, before their divorce, before Lucas, before the drama. Standing in front of the house brought back some of the greatest memories of my childhood. It was these memories and traditions that I would pass down to my children, in hopes of fostering a great relationship with all of my sons.

While reminiscing about my childhood, I neglected to realize that the front door had opened. I knew that Dan lived in a larger house across town, so I was confused as to who now lived there. Before I could realize it was her, I heard my mom call for me.

"Nathan?" I heard her voice loud and clear, missing the natural melody in the way she said it. I couldn't take my eyes off of her and my eyes couldn't stop tearing up.

I felt like a child who sees his mother after being lost. I cried and I cried hard. I ran into her arms and cried into her shoulder. "I missed you mom."

I felt her pat my back just like she used to when I would get upset over something Dan said or did. "I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere Nathan. I love you so much."

Her just being there calmed me to my soul. Breaking out hug, I looked at my mom and saw just how happy she had become. The smile on her face was an honest to goodness real smile, not a fake one and definitely not a drug or alcohol induced on.

"How's Luke doing Nathan?" I broke our gaze and stared at my feet. Although I knew that he was fine. I couldn't help but feel unsure.

"I think he'll be okay." I shrugged nonchalantly.

I felt my mom's hand caress my face, bringing my eyes up to meet hers. "And what about you? How are you holding up?"

Between her concerned stare and her questions, the dam broke. I felt like a little boy again seeing comfort from his mother. She enveloped me in her arms again and wouldn't let go. "I'm sorry. I…I didn't mean it."

She soothed like only she could. "I know and it'll be alright Nathan. We'll get through this." Her calming works and gentle embrace stopped the tears.

"He was gonna hurt Lucas and the babies. I had to do it. He was going to kill them." I cried, although no tears fell.

"Look at me Nathan." But I couldn't bring myself to meet her gaze again. "Nathan, look at me." She shook me gently until I lifted my head from her shoulders and met her stare. "The cops have already spoken with everyone there. They spoke to the doctors and nurses, to you and Luke. Between the eye witness reports and Dan's track record, I think you'll be fine."

Hearing all of that my throat tightened. I felt like I couldn't catch my breath. "I don't think I'll ever be fine. I killed someone. How can I raise my children when I murdered someone?" My body convulsed in anger and fear.

"We'll get you some help. But right now Luke and my grandsons need you. I'll go get Jamie from Karen's but you need to get back to that hospital." She pushed me into the street.

"Thank mom." I smiled, feeling the weight taken off my shoulders. I was happy that she was home and relieved to know that I had some sort of support system.

Heading back to the hospital, I felt charged and refreshed. The whole ordeal with Dan seemed to resolve itself. I accepted the fact that the situation had turned into a life or death situation. I reacted to that situation, plain and simple. I would deal with the mental portion later.

The closer I got to the hospital, the clearer my mind became and the more I focused on Luke, Riley, Liam and Jamie. They were my focus, they were my family now. I would give up my life for them. I crossed the threshold smiling and made my way up to Luke's room.

When I arrived, I found the room empty. He was supposed to be on bed rest, but knowing Luke, he's going to try to be as independent as possible. I figured that he went to the bathroom seeing as how the door was closed. But after 10 minutes, I became worried. I checked the small room and found it just as empty as the bedroom. Panicking I fled the room, hoping to grab the first nurse I saw. Instead, I found Karen in the waiting area with Jamie on her hip.

"Oh Nathan, thank god." Karen exclaimed, moving Jamie from one hip to another.

"Where's Luke?" I asked, bypassing formalities.

"He's..." But before she could continue, Jamie interjected saying, "Papa said its baby time."

"Time for babies." Karen corrected. "He went into labor. It's one floor up. They're waiting for you."

Without a second glance, I ran toward the elevator, bobbing and weaving around hospital staff like a pro football player. From the time I realized that Luke went into labor until the time I saw him on the operating table, I don't think I breathed one breath. My chest burned feeling like I was being poked with hundreds of hot needles. But seeing Luke took the pain away. I didn't notice the nurse pushing me out until they put up the partition between Luke's upper and lower body. The nurse got me scrubbed up and into the hairnet, booties, and mask in seconds. My mind consumed with thoughts of Luke and the birth of my two new children allowed my body to run on autopilot.

Being in the operating room as they performed the C-section was calming for me in a way. I didn't think I simply ran on adrenaline. Standing by his side, our fingers intertwined, I watched the entire procedure. We both cringed at the first incision, Luke from the actual pain and me from the imagined. Watching the doctor pull back layers of Luke's insides made my stomach turn and I clenched my eyes closed until I hear the wail of a newborn…our newborn. Riley was in the doctor's arms screaming at the top of his lungs. I could tell that it was him because Luke said that we had similar features and this baby had a full head of black hair. He was quickly passed to a nearby nurse for evaluation as the doctor went in for Liam.

"Riley's here Luke." I told him taking my eyes off of the doctor and looking at my fair haired lover.

"And Liam?" He asked weakly. The anesthesia left Lucas lingering between a conscious and unconscious state.

Hearing a small squeak, I looked back to another son taking their first breath. Unlike his older brother, this child had very little hair but what was there was blonde, just like Lucas.

Turning back to the man who gave birth to our children, I kissed his forehead. "You did good Luke. Both boys are fine."

"I wanna see them." He asked just as weakly as before. Being cut open and having two children removed from his abdomen took a lot out of him. I assured him that as soon as the doctor stitched him up, he could see them.

Once Luke was moved to recovery, the boys were brought in. Holding them in my arms and seeing Luke smile brought joy to my heart. And in that moment, I knew that this was our happily ever after.


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